Note: this is a fun and light commentary from a woman to men, but it can definitely be applied to both genders!
So you are just starting a new relationship, and you’ve done many “firsts” of many things—you know what I mean…the first “how does he take his coffee” moment, the first dinner and the first sleepover.
You are right at the beginning of something that could potentially be life changing and its just all so exciting. Your head is buzzing, you have butterflies in your tummy, and everything around you somehow seems more colorful.
Ohhhh. What a yummy feeling.
And now is exactly the right time to figure out who you are dating. Are you really compatible? Is he really your match? Should you be thinking about a “forever” with this man? My non-scientific and slightly crazy answer to this is simple: jump in the car with him and find out.
Does this sound mad?
Perhaps so…but if you bear with me, let me give you a couple of examples how this actually works.
Let’s take one of my first boyfriends; he had the oldest car in the world but he drove it like it was the
latest Ferrari and every few months he had to replace something—either a gear box, a radiator or some other part I can’t remember the name of. He had to do this not only because the car was so old but because he pushed the car to the limit.
The boy has now turned into a man who runs his own business, owns a big house, many cars and takes holidays to exotic places. His approach to driving was, and probably still is, pushy and arrogant. Just like him. He sped through life in the fast lane, overtook anyone ahead of him and didn’t really care about abusing the car as he could replace any part (read: this is how he treated his replaceable girlfriends too).
I look back nowadays and wonder why I was with him. But that’s a whole different story.
In contrast, the following boyfriend drove a middle of the range, average car. He too ran his own business, but unlike boyfriend number one, this man made no money and wasn’t that bothered about it. And I bet you can guess what his driving style was—yep, he was one of those guys that just sat in the slow lane, always drove just below the speed limit and happily pottered along to his destination.
The “pottering along” happened in all parts of his life. Money, work, girlfriends. You name it, he just was in no hurry to do anything or go anywhere.
So while I was in my own car last week and noticing my own habits, I somehow came up with this non-researched-but-kind-of-fun theory. My advice to you is get in the car and figure him out. He’ll never know that’s what you are doing when you are comfortably sitting next to him, humming along to the radio.
Here are some key moments to look out for:
• Seat belt: does he put it one on? He doesn’t, he is a risk taker and probably quite arrogant (a “me…seat belt? I am immortal” type of guy). If he checks you have yours on—-then he is caring, kind and will make an amazing father—just saying.
• Does he ever overtake or just sit quietly in the lane eventually getting to his destination? You know the answer. Obvious. Don’t drive like a crazy person, but honestly, overtake when its safe. Life is about risks. Take them.
• Does he drive over/below the speed limit. Same as above. Those who consistently or ‘out of principle’ drive well below will be likely living the same life as they have for years. If you are looking for stability, you’ve found it. If they perpetually drive above the speed limit—those are the risk takers, and often have no consideration for others—be warned!
• And the last (but maybe most crucial) one: does he stop at crossings to let people cross the road? Anyone, and I mean anyone worth dating should do that. Those who don’t—you know the answer.
You don’t want those sort of people in your life.
So next time you are dating a person that could potentially be important to you; my advice to you is get in his car.
Author: Niki Parker
Editor: Renée Picard