Warning: Strong Language Ahead!
When Did Thinking Become a Bad Thing?
I keep seeing articles my friends post on Facebook, and quite a few articles on elephant journal itself, that say something like, “7 Signs You’re An Over-Thinker,” or “10 Things People Who Overanalyze Do.”
What bothers me about all these articles is that they seem to suggest that thinking or analyzing more than normal is a bad thing. As if the average person is already using an appropriate amount of their brain. Right.
Well, allow me to drop some thoughtful knowledge on how doing both of those things above average might actually garner some desirable traits in others. And, yes, according to those aforementioned articles, I qualify as such on a number of points.
Regardless, here are seven reasons why you should date someone who “over-thinks” or “overanalyzes” like me:
1) We Give A Shit.
That’s right. There’s a reason we think about everything under the sun and the infinite different scenarios that may or may not be getting ready to play out in our tiny universes. It’s because we fucking care. A lot. There are plenty of things we don’t think about, because we don’t care about them. In fact, we try to limit that which we do care about, because we know how much time we will spend thinking about it. So, if you’re lucky enough to be one of those things that we do care about, you’ll always get the benefit of knowing we are thinking about you. We can’t help it.
2) We Will Research How to Please You.
Mmmhmm. That’s right, part deux. We are far too conscientious to go into the sack without thoroughly researching and arming ourselves with tricks and tips beforehand. The consummate reflectors, we are always refining our skills. Getting better and better with time. You want a giver, date one of us.
3) You Will Never Need Google Maps Again.
Relax. We’ve got this shit covered. You wanna get from A to B? No problem. We’ll find the fastest route, throw in some “hole in the wall” restaurants that will be the best things you’ve never heard of, keep track of the nearest hospitals in case you catch Polio along the way and make sure the tires are inflated to the proper pressure to get the best gas mileage. Not to mention, there’s not a traffic scenario in the world that we don’t have a plan for. We live for that shit, and will laugh at everyone else stuck in traffic as we make our smooth detour around them. Let’s put it this way, not only do I have a first aid kit, fire extinguisher, complete tool box, extra water and reading materials in my car, but I also have a self-cranking flashlight that never needs batteries. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a fun ride!
4) Should Something Ever Happen, You Can Follow Them to Safety.
Tagging along with number three, should something ever go wrong in any way imaginable, don’t ask questions, just keep up. We would never let anything happen to someone we love while we still have air in our lungs. As such, all disaster scenarios have been fully covered and escape plans stored in our ever-active brains. Don’t get it twisted, we are not doomsday preppers. No, doomsday preppers are the people we will bitch slap as we take all their stuff and calmly drive away in the amphibious tour bus we stole.
5) There are No Elephants in the Room.
You never have to wonder if something is on our mind, because it always is, and we will always tell you. Hmm, that kinda sounds bad. Eh, still beats dating a coward who never has the guts to tell you what they really think or feel.
6) We Take Notice.
Okay, keeping things a secret from us may be a little difficult, because we’re like fucking CSI detectives on meth. We pick up on even the slightest of details that are out of the norm. But, we also take notice of you every day. We choose you every day, even though we are well aware of every single flaw, shortcoming, and thing you try (unsuccessfully) to keep from us. We see you like no one else does. All of you. And, we have analyzed every bit of it and decided to stay. That is something you should never take for granted.
7) We Use Our Brain and Our Heart.
Do you really want an “under-thinker” or “un-analyzer?” Someone who couldn’t tell you a million reasons why they’re with you? Someone who hasn’t looked up how to tell you you’re beautiful in 10 different languages? Someone who isn’t gonna think about you or try and find ways to be better for you and for themselves every day? If so, good luck with that. Holler when you need someone to help you analyze where you went wrong.
Author: General Parks
Editor: Toby Israel