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February 3, 2016

Hot Big Mama.

Roundness

“Roundness is the ultimate feminine shape.” ~ Judith Hanson Lasater

I’m entering my eighth month of pregnancy, and I love it.

I’ve been lucky and have had few ugly symptoms. I do feel my temper is a bit hotter than usual, I realize that I’m at times hormone-headed, and I react much more dramatically than I would usually do.

Case in point, I’m offended by pregnancy pants marketed “Skinny Mama Jeans.” Why should I be skinny? There’s a healthy baby growing big in my belly! I want pants that are as expansive as I am. I like it when people I see every week say, “Wow, you’re big!”

Huge, I know. Not skinny.

It’s weird. Especially because it seems like all of our life we’ve been hiding our bellies, and now suddenly they’re gigantic—and some people don’t see them. Who knew?

For me, this is not the time for pant legs cutting my circulation. (This is already happening automatically.) I love feeling strong. I love going on my bike, especially now that I’m walking slower. I love going to yoga, but there are many poses that are just not for this time, for me.

I need space—open, wide space.

I’m as big as a house, but that’s okay, because there’s someone living there. Eating and sleeping.

For our babies, we’re the universe.

I’m loving this expanding mode. We expand. We contain multitudes. Every woman is her own universe, and I’m sure there are Skinny Sweet Mamas out there who love the fitted jeans. And we’ll each find our way, our own balance, our own practices, through this journey of transformation.

Skinny is just not for me. I don’t feel skinny, and I don’t want to feel judged or boxed. I don’t want to feel spandex pressure of any kind.

I want the freedom to go big in this maternal madness.

There is something better than skinny. For example, Brené Brown. Really, I’d like her to thank her for not being skinny. To me, she’s perfect; she’s taught me so much about been brave and vulnerable. She writes about parenting and the importance of allowing ourselves to be ourselves.

I want to raise my glass and cheer for my big behind, because I’m ecstatic about becoming a mother.

And a bit of fat may help with the tasks to come. As Angela Garbes explains here,

“To produce breast milk, mothers melt their own body fat. Are you with me? We literally dissolve parts of ourselves, starting with gluteal-femoral fat, aka our butts, and turn it into liquid to feed our babies.”

So, it may even come as a plus.

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Relephant Read:

Loving Getting Bigger.

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Author: Ana Guardia

Editor: Toby Israel

Images: Author’s Own // deveion acker/Flickr

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