March 6, 2016

Draining the Emotional Dam.

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Yesterday I cried.

This is no easy feat for me to admit.

I had always viewed crying as a sign of weakness.

Yesterday I cried because I felt the weight of judgement. I felt the weight of all that is happening in my life bearing down on me.

I felt like a failure in this game we call life.

Crying, to me, meant that you cannot handle all that is happening in your life and so you crumble and break under the pressure.


Oh, how wrong I was for so many years.

People cry for so many reasons. Happy tears. Sad tears. Stress tears. Overwhelmed tears. Tears of joy. Tears because something is so damn beautiful.

The actual reasons we cry are many, and as individual as each of us. Our tears are our bodies’ way of letting go. We drop our guards and hit a place so very deep within ourselves.

Crying is a response to a buildup of energy, an emotional dam. When that dam reaches its limit, the tears flow. Now, people might say that this is the time you should be looking a little deeper to address an issue that is obviously building up.

Is it frustration? Is it a feeling of being overwhelmed? Is it to get attention? Is it a sign of weakness?

At one point I may have agreed with this line of thinking. Obviously something is wrong with you if you are crying.

So why do so many say they feel better after a cry? Everything was released in those tears and that all the emotions they were feeling just rolled off their cheeks and everything was good again? I know that is exactly the way I felt yesterday after I let them flow.

Maybe we cry not because of all those reasons that upset or cause us pain. Maybe we cry to get over it. Maybe we cry just to release. If you don’t release some of the pressure building up, there will be a much bigger disaster if we don’t let some of the buildup escape.

Women are more prone to crying than men. I think society has seen to this. It is just not socially acceptable for a man to cry. I am always at a loss of what to do when a man starts to cry. My initial response is, “Oh man, this must be really bad if he is crying”

Shedding of tears is a response to an emotional state. This much is true. So why do some cry more easily than others? Why do some cry at the happy times in their lives? Or the hallmark commercial that suggestions you should call your mom?

Crying is a part of being human. That emotional being that you are? You’re going to have to blame it on solely being a human. It was handed out to you at birth and there are no refunds. Sorry to those tough guys that thought otherwise. Yes, even you will get emotional with the right triggers.

I was one of those tough guys. Tears did not flow easily for me because if they did that meant I was weak.

So what has changed in my thinking over the years to get me to the point my kids call me a marshmallow?

It feels good to cry!

If feels amazing to just let go!

It feels like someone has come along and pulled a plug on my dam.

I can actual feel my body starting to relax when I didn’t even realize it had been so tense. I can feel the negative energy drain from my soul. All that pressure I had been holding onto just flows down my cheeks.

When my tears finally slow, then stop, I am exhausted! I don’t believe it is from the boohooing itself. I believe it is from trying to contain all those emotions wrapped up so tight for so long.

So yesterday I cried. Today, I am ready to tackle all those obstacles that are still there.

Only now, I am ready to take them on with clearer vision.


Relephant Read:

What Do You See When You Look in the Mirror?


Author: Debbi Serafinchon

Volunteer Editor: Tess Estandarte / Editor: Emily Bartran

Image: ladulcevita/Deviantart 

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