July 19, 2016

An Open Letter to the Fixers.

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I know your type.

You’re great at relationships. You’re a giver.

You go out of your way to make your partner’s life better.

That time you stayed up all night to help them study for their upcoming exams; the time you cleaned their entire house because you knew they were stressed from work; the time you cancelled on your friends because they were having a particularly bad day.

And it’s not just your partners. Being a selfless person bleeds into your work relationships as well as your friendships.

You are a beam of light for everyone. You use positivity to boost people up when they need it the most. You are willing to go above and beyond for those you love. And…admit it, sometimes that can be massively draining.

I get it. I get it because I am one of you.

We minimize our own struggles so we can be available to support others. We hold people up, even if their weight is slowly crushing us.

In a world that rewards the self-serving, we try to be the exception to the rule. And that’s good. It really is. I’m not going to tell you to stop. I’m not going to say you should let others twist in the wind while you go out and get yours. Because you are the one who is changing this world for the better.

You shouldn’t give less of yourself or stop helping those in need.

But when is the last time you took care of yourself?

Have you given yourself enough quality time and attention? Drawn yourself a bath and made yourself a nice dinner just because you deserve it? Self-care is so important to life balance, but it’s easy to forget about. Especially if you’re someone who focuses more on outgoing love than incoming.

Human relationships are the meaning of life. And helping to create a better world for those around you is nothing less than noble, but take stock of why you are giving so much of yourself. While it’s likely that people will take a shine to you if you’re constantly helping them out, you should never give love for the sole purpose of getting love.

We’re all on a mission to find love wherever we can, but the only way that search will ever be fulfilling is if that love comes from within.

So, you know all of that love, time, and attention that you’re used to giving others? Keep burning brightly in that exact manner. But, as an experiment, try aiming that love at yourself. Give it a week. Beam that joyous generosity toward yourself and see how much more effective (and happy!) you’ll feel as a human being.



Author: Jordan Gray

Image: Helen Alfvegren/Flickr 

Editors: Catherine Monkman; Renée Picard

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