July 18, 2016

But What if I Scare Him Away?

Jordan Whitfield at Unsplash

But what if I scare him away?

What if I’m as loud and wild and powerful as my soul tells me to be—and he shudders in complete disgust?

What if I’m as truth-soaked and raw as my heart demands, and he bolts, jumps up and runs?

What if I’m honest as hell and he hates it?

What if I scare him away?

Oh, but love, if you’re authentically, nakedly you—and he doesn’t like it, if he can’t handle it, if he’s put off—

Then he isn’t the fella for you.

He can’t be.

If he is threatened by your sparkle, intimidated by your growl, put off by your wildness, your truth-telling, wise, utterly feminine, sensuous, poetic way—

If his knees shake at the way you dive deep, dig in and swim in the glistening depths like the mermaid you really are—

If his eyes roll at the way you laugh loudly and dance joyously in the sweetest beams of mid-afternoon sunshine—

He is not meant for you.

He can’t be.

It’s okay.

Hold onto yourself, but let him go.

And keep being you. Keep being brave. Keep beaming brilliantly.

But don’t, for a single second, think you can save the relationship by dimming yourself down. Don’t think you can “make it work” by being less yourself.

If you have to do that, it’s not working. It can’t. It won’t.

Save yourself that treacherous pain. Don’t, for a single second, try to whittle yourself into a microscopic chip of who you are to make him stay—to make him like you (because then, oh maybe then, you’ll live happily ever after).


You won’t.

You’ll live sadly ever after in your mask, drowning in the roarin’ seas of your radiant potential.

You are a masterpiece, and right now is the perfect moment to recognize it—to honor it.

But what if you scare him away?

Oh, but what if you don’t?

What if you reveal everything to him—the fiery art of your passion and purpose, your tender truth and glorious grit—and he loves it madly, wildly, fiercely?

What if you’re not too much at all?

What if he only wants more and more of your luscious soul?

Because that could happen too.

At the the end of every day, there is absolutely nothing to lose by being ourselves.

Even in rejection, in breakups, in the downright doldrums of disappointment and tender, hurt feelings, there is only love when we are brave enough to be ourselves. There is only truth in the nakedest pulses of authenticity.

So keep going.

Keep being brave.

Keep being you.

Keep living vibrantly. Boldly. Gently. Ridiculously beautifully.

Keep shining out, from the depths of your heart.

Because there’s a love out there who can’t wait to meet you. The real you. The entire, unedited whole of you—bruises, broken bits, depth, triumphs, smiles, sparkle, silliness and all.

The only way to meet them, to find them, is to be you, all of you—

Your messy, beautiful, cracked, delicious self

In all your glory.

And the ones who aren’t worthy, who need you to be smaller, quieter, less real—you will scare them away.


Scare ’em off freakin’ immediately.

That’s not a bad thing. It’s a goddamn blessing.

Stand tall.

Keep walking your path.

Keep being brave.

Keep trusting your heart.

Keep being you—keep shining, beaming brilliantly.

Right now is the perfect moment to realize what a delicious masterpiece you are.

Honor it fiercely.


Author: Sarah Harvey

Photo: Jordan Whitfield/Unsplash

Editors: Toby Israel; Yoli Ramazzina


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