I like to approach life with humor. It is much needed in regard to what society thinks when it comes to having children.
As women, we get many questions about having children over the years. When women don’t have a child by what society thinks is an appropriate age, we start hearing the following:
“You’re being selfish.” or “Having a child is the most selfless thing you can do.”
“Aren’t you worried you are getting too old to have children?” “Your clock is ticking!”
“You don’t have children, so you won’t understand.”
“You are really missing out.”
Personally, when I was younger, depending on my state of mind, these questions and statements had a profound affect on my psyche. It either sent me into a spiral of depression or a bout of extreme anger. I felt judged. There are a myriad of reasons why a woman may not have a child; she can’t get pregnant, she can’t find love, she is focused on her career, she loves just being an auntie, or maybe she just does not want one!
Today however, at 48, I am no longer deeply affected by others opinions and thoughts on how my life should be in regard to having a child. I do however, wish to pass onto other women as they go through their 20’s and 30’s and hell, even 40’s, about how to respond when confronted with such potentially hurtful questions and statements— and yes even judgments, on how one can live a complete life without procreating.
Luckily, I can direct people to Chelsea Handler’s PSA’s regarding kids. Her comedic skits called, “Kids, They’re not that great,” are freaking hilarious! This one in particular, is my favorite, as there is also a good political dig as well.
So next time, when you feel put on the spot by your mom friends, your parents, or even a stranger, send them this link—or just view it yourself to have a good laugh and remember, we, as women, are allowed to choose how we want to live our lives and decide what is fulfilling. No one else.
Author: Deb Jarrett
Editor: Caitlin Oriel