August 12, 2016

It’s Okay to Be Childfree.

Kids not great

I like to approach life with humor. It is much needed in regard to what society thinks when it comes to having children.

As  women, we get many questions about having children over the years. When women don’t have a child by what society thinks is an appropriate age, we start hearing the following:

“You’re being selfish.” or “Having a child is the most selfless thing you can do.”

“Aren’t you worried you are getting too old to have children?” “Your clock is ticking!”

“You don’t have children, so you won’t understand.”

“You are really missing out.”

Personally, when I was younger, depending on my state of mind, these questions and statements had a profound affect on my psyche. It either sent me into a spiral of depression or a bout of extreme anger. I felt judged. There are a myriad of reasons why a woman may not have a child; she can’t get pregnant, she can’t find love, she is focused on her career, she loves just being an auntie, or maybe she just does not want one!

Today however, at 48, I am no longer deeply affected by others opinions and thoughts on how my life should be in regard to having a child. I do however, wish to pass onto other women as they go through their 20’s and 30’s and hell, even 40’s, about how to respond when confronted with such potentially hurtful questions and statements— and yes even judgments, on how one can live a complete life without procreating.

Luckily, I can direct people to Chelsea Handler’s PSA’s regarding kids. Her comedic skits called, “Kids, They’re not that great,” are freaking hilarious! This one in particular, is my favorite, as there is also a good political dig as well.

So next time, when you feel put on the spot by your mom friends, your parents, or even a stranger, send them this link—or just view it yourself to have a good laugh and remember, we, as women, are allowed to choose how we want to live our lives and decide what is fulfilling. No one else.


Author: Deb Jarrett

Images: YouTube

Editor: Caitlin Oriel


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Deb Jarrett

Deb Jarrett, at age 40, decided her life needed some shaking up. In fact, she needed to rattle her brains a bit. She was done climbing the corporate ladder, paying mortgages and internet dating—so she quit her job and moved to India to help animals.

Not to be confused with Elizabeth Gilbert, at this point in her life, Deb had done just about all of the self discovery she so desired on therapist couches, yoga retreats, and spiritual workshops. In fact, she Eats very carefully, due to the risk of bacteria and parasites. She no longer Prays after experiencing the harsh reality of the developing world on a day-to-day basis and believes compassionate action is the answer. However, she did find Love with a younger Indian man.

You can find more of her writing and learn about her work with animals on her website or Facebook.