My mother died five years ago. On that day I lost my best friend.
What I didn’t expect is to rekindle her after all this time. While she has left, her spirit remains.
On summer nights, as the sun goes down and I sit outside on the patio, I can still hear her laugh. It makes me smile. It reminds me of simpler times when the only entertainment was being surrounded by green leaves, grass and hearing the crickets at night as we talked about whatever came to our minds.
On mornings when I wake up to rain and had planned to go for a long walk, I think of how a few showers and grey skies did not stop my mother. She said, “That is why we have raincoats.” So out we would go in our raincoats for a run. We came home wet and damp, but smiling. There is something exhilarating about feeling the raindrops on my skin on a morning run. It had a charm all its own, one should try it sometime.
It was her unstoppable nature that I thought I had lost. My mother had this uncanny ability to turn obstacles into something silly and fun.
Now that time has passed I am starting to understand that I’m ready to do those things that I once only enjoyed with her. She is not gone—her spirit is very much alive in me.
It fosters a spontaneity almost a childlike impulse to laugh and play.
On those nights
I heard your laughter
Your favorite chair sat bare
Worn and unbroken
From nights we talked
Till morning was there
Then walked in the rain
Cried with the moon
But that spark was always there
Throughout tear drops
And black bat wing nights
We shined bright
Alone and with you beyond compare
When you left I thought I had died
I was lost
Until I found my strengths, the ones
You left me
So I decided to laugh in the rain
Cry with the sun
In remembrance of what you showed me
Love, without a care.
Author: Jane CoCo Cowles
Image: Author’s Own
Editor: Sara Kärpänen