November 3, 2016

What if Instead of Fighting our Insecurities, we Did this Instead.

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I’m writing this for me, just as much as I am for you. 

Why? Because maybe you have fought with your present moments as much as I have?

Perhaps you have felt, or feel now that what life is showering you with is not exactly what you want to be showered with?

Just checking. 

I am writing to that deeply insecure seed in the human psyche that feels unsure about everything. You know, that part of us that we often want to run away from? That part that is perhaps the least cozy to sit with or even admit exists at times?

We all have it. It’s stronger in some than in others, but we all have some element—or perhaps a glacier—of insecure, self-doubting and critical essential oil that wafts through our inner self on a daily basis.

We do things to cover it up.

We do things that make our bodies feel good: eat, work out, have sex, meditate, sleep, have a little wine or caffeine, watch trash TV, etc.

We do things that make our minds quiet— maybe yoga or martial arts, cooking, artistic endeavors, writing out our thoughts, venting to other humans, and so on.

We try to quell our hearts—and make ourselves feel better with a myriad of fabulous feeling things.

But somehow, that insecurity doesn’t completely vanish.

Somehow, it sits, like a little pearl inside of our clam-shell of a core self and taunts us—if we let it.

Mindfulness practices are great. Yoga is my jam. Calming the monkey-mind has become a new fad—even coloring has become a popular adult activity. But practices are like a crutch. We need them because there is a desire to escape.

What exactly are we escaping from?

If our insecure pearl is not going away, what if we just accepted it? What if we embraced that oddball part of our self that just won’t ever fit in?

Embracing the odd-ball is accepting it. We accept and then we transform. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy calls this: Radical Acceptance. We become aware of the feelings of the present moment, acknowledge them and just let them be, then get on with whatever it is we are doing.

We spend so much time trying to change this or that about our inner or outer experience. What if we understood and lived what the Taoists call, wu wei (without action; without effort)?

What if, instead of spending our moments resisting what is, we accepted it? Acceptance takes us into the realm of flow—where we say to life:

“I trust you!”

For centuries we have distrusted life. We have manipulated and manifested. We have held onto the past and re-lived it over and over again like crazy people. We have been in pleasant present moments with our minds and hearts in the future—full of worries or hopes that blind our eyes to what is right in front of us right now.

When I was a new mom, I would catch myself fantasizing about sleep while feeding my sweet, hungry baby who awoke two hours before my desired wake-up time. Then, she would smile, and suddenly, my mind and heart were sucked back to where my body was: this sacred moment of bright eyed, curly lipped baby glow. Our lives are full of those random connecting moments.

What if they weren’t meant to be random? What if the randomness became disconnection instead of connection? What if connection was the way?

I love the parable in the book, Illusions, by Richard Bach. It says it all:

“The current of the river swept silently over them all…. The current going its own way, knowing only its own crystal self. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth. …The river delights to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.”

Maybe the current of this thing we call life isn’t so bad. Scary as it seems, maybe, just maybe she will nurture and support and calm and caress you in ways your disconnected self can’t fathom.

My new motto is this:

Let the branches go.

Accept what is.

Be here now: breathing, embracing, experiencing. 

And you, reader, connecting with my words, which are somehow your words, because you found them. You are them.

They are you.

Anything going on inside and out—it’s all the current.

Flow with it.
Join me!
Let’s party on down the stream!



Author: Sarah Lamb

Image: YouTube Still

Editor: Travis May

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