Not every person we meet is ready to commit to us.
Each one of us is an irreplaceable, rare and complex creature on a unique soul journey, with different thoughts, feelings, beliefs, intentions, needs, desires and motivations.
When we meet someone new, specifically someone we are romantically attracted to, we often hope and pray that they are able to meet us at the exact place we are at in our lives. But sadly, the opposite is often the case.
This same disconnect can also happen with people we have been in a long-term relationship with. We evolve and go through countless changes, but sometimes we don’t adjust well to our partners once we, or they, have changed.
We may place unrealistic conditions and expectations on this person and when they won’t or aren’t able to meet them, we take it personally and are left feeling dejected or unwanted. We question if there was ever a connection in the first place.
But in reality, we just may not be compatible at that period in time. It is usually no one’s fault and no one hopes that the bonds won’t seal down on every corner, but for reasons often hidden, something is causing relationship dysfunction and disarray and the connection just won’t flow.
Unless we want to experience constant pain and suffering by trying to force a relationship, the only option left is to take a deep breath of faith and then calmly let it go.
To attain inner peace and harmony, it is essential to work out how to release our grip and surrender so that whatever is meant to be can truly be, without us pressuring it to be something different—something based only on our own individual needs, wants and desires.
We often feel that we are stronger for holding on to fragments of the relationship, and that if we pour enough time, attention and effort into it, miraculously the other person will see the light and come around to our way of thinking and feeling. However, this flood of emotional energy quite often has the opposite effect, and instead of feeding the relationship, it suffocates and drowns the residual positive emotions that have been lingering.
Sometimes, the bravest and most courageous thing we can do is to resist the temptation to cling and instead gently and gracefully let all of our attachments to this person go.
When we hear the term “let go,” we can easily become confused thinking this means that we have to cut someone loose from our life or turn our back on them. But it’s quite the opposite. Letting someone go can be the most loving, compassionate and considerate thing we can do for ourselves, as well as the other person.
Something powerful happens when we consciously loosen our grip and relinquish the need to control or force the relationship to go where it isn’t ready to go.
Our fear of loss is replaced with an immense belief and faith in ourselves and also the person we are choosing to let go of. We are sending out a strong spiritual signal to the universe that we trust in our own ability to deal with what is and what isn’t meant for us—as well as trusting the other person to make choices that align fully with what they want for their life, as well.
As we open up this channel, fresh new energy flushes in, and with it arrives opportunities and possibilities that we wouldn’t have noticed before. All our energy was so caught up in holding on to the past, that it was blocking us from anything new beginning in the future.
In a way, letting go is like using the ancient art of Feng Shui to sweep out negative energy so that positive energy can flow in.
When we let go, we don’t just let go of the person so they can breathe freely, without us placing restrictions on them, we also let go of all the frustration, pain, anger and irritation that we had been holding on to while we were stubbornly clinging tight with the unwillingness to let things just naturally be.
We can often become attached to low vibration emotions, as they can feel familiar, especially if we have been feeling them for a long time. Therefore, it is essential that we are gentle with ourselves as we transition from holding on to letting go. This gives our emotions the opportunity to stabilize and get used to flowing freely once more.
Letting go can be terrifying as there is always the risk that once we let go, something this good or this intense may not come our way again, However, holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held only prolongs our suffering and keeps us locked in a cycle where cutting emotions have the ability to make us feel inadequate and therefore inflict painful wounds again and again.
I understand that it isn’t always as simple as taking a deep breath and a leap of faith to flip everything around. But surrendering to the present moment and letting go of all that has happened in the past and the frantic need to know what the future holds is liberating, empowering and exhilarating.
Letting go brings in fresh energy and revitalises stagnant relationships by allowing others the flexibility to stretch and grow. Surrendering shows us the exquisite beauty and preciousness that can be found in the present moment when it is not being pushed, pulled and twisted due to our fear of the future or oppressed and tethered due to our regrets from the past.
“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ~ Stephen King
Relephant: The One Buddhist Red Flag to Look out For.
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Nicole Cameron
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