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May 22, 2017

How to Broach the Subject of Sex with Somebody.

“I need sex now,” she announced challenging someone to rise to the occasion.

Her boyfriend cowered, though her words weren’t specifically directed at him. He’d seen this side of her before they were a couple and was turned on by it. Now, though nobody was taking her up on her offer, it felt like she was cheating on him.

“You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him f*ck,” he said, standing up and offering her his hand as any gentleman would do.

Three other couples watched them walk off the porch, into the house, and up the stairs. Nobody knew for sure what was coming next. Perhaps this was just for show, but it wasn’t how “good” people are supposed to act.

Opening

I was met with silence the other day when I read a new blog to my son over the phone. “Is it too personal?” I asked him.

“Yes,” he replied.

Like so many others, my son has a code, and although he is quick with a cuss word and pretty great at expressing himself, when it comes to sex, he is as quiet as a church mouse.

He is as likely to speak of intimacy and sex as a shy librarian is to talk loudly in the stacks. While it isn’t nice to kiss and tell, it also isn’t nice or useful to go all Marcel Marceau when it comes to sex.

What if we talked of sex as often as we talk about the weather and didn’t utter a word about the weather ever? It’s likely that the weather would be fine, just as it was going to be anyway, and sex would get better.

While it seems ridiculous to have a physics class in which we don’t broach the subject of physics, it is just as crazy to be a bunch of sexual lightning rods walking around not talking about sex.

Imagine

“The wife was all over me last night,” said Ben, the guy who works in the hardware store, to a fellow who just stopped in to purchase a detailing paint brush.

“How was it?” asks the customer.

“Well, she’s put on a little weight this spring, but I have to say it makes the sex even more fun. I look at her from behind and there is a bit more to love and a lot more to grab onto,” said Ben.

“That sounds great,” said the customer. “Where are the brushes?”

“Down that aisle and to the right,” replied Ben. “Have you been having much sex?”

“Nope, but I have been getting a lot of painting done,” said the customer. “My wife is willing enough, but I’ve sort of lost my drive.”

“What’s that like?” asked Ben with real curiosity.

“Well, it’s not great. I’m still interested in sex, but I’ve been watching porn on my computer,” complained the customer.

“Don’t do that,” suggested Ben. “There is nothing better than the real thing.”

“Thanks for that advice. Maybe I won’t be using that brush this afternoon after all,” replied the customer.

Learning about sex

Most of us don’t talk about sex much and virtually none of us do so with curiosity or the desire to learn more.

Sure, we can look up on the web to discover whether we are above or below the national norms for sex times per week. But that simply doesn’t offer enough personal information to swing our sex lives back up if they have faltered and it isn’t juicy.

But a personal conversation with someone we know, a stranger, the fellow in the hardware store, or the tele-marketer placing a random call may provide just the little tidbit we need to make our sex lives hotter, open us to a new position, or inspire us to confess our shortage of sins and get on with some serious sinning.

Anywhere it is appropriate to talk about the weather, it is boring to do so.

Anywhere we dare talk about sex, it can be exciting, fun, and hot. Having sex with strangers often leads to low self esteem or questioning one’s own judgement. But talking about sex with strangers, relatives, friends, business associates, family, and especially lovers leads easily to a raising of the curtains of sexual taboo and shedding the light of liberation on our sexuality.

To broach the subject of sex with somebody, speak up about sex to everybody.

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Author: Jerry Stocking
Image: Pixabay
Editor: Travis May

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