If you’re wondering how you can go about losing a good woman, here’s a list to get you started on your journey to being single again.

Following these tips will leave you alone, wondering where the woman who used to love you has gone, and if you can ever win her back:

Take her for granted

Even the most secure, confident, and self-assured woman will grow tired of being taken for granted. Don’t assume she will always be there just because she is today.

Forget to cherish her

Women love to be cherished. What that looks like for each woman is different, but to cherish means to “protect and care for lovingly.” If that isn’t present she will not likely hang out for long.

Neglect her

You don’t call or text her regularly? Days go by without contacting her? You don’t make plans to see her regularly? Even if she is independent, she is going to start to think your lack of attention is a sign that you’re “just not that into her” and she will find someone who is.

Play games

Good women don’t like games. She won’t play them and she won’t accept them from you. The whole “wait three days to call to create a false sense of anxiety so you can gauge her interest” will wear thin quickly, and she will not hang around to keep doing it.

Don’t respect her

When you do things like make plans and don’t follow through, show up late, or don’t honor her time, you’re showing you don’t respect her. When you don’t listen to her, or dismiss what she is saying to you, you are showing you don’t respect her. If you mock her, make fun of her, or tease her more than you appreciate her you’re showing you don’t respect her. No self-respecting woman will tolerate this for long.

Don’t show her affection

She doesn’t necessarily need you to buy her a dozen roses every week (unless you want to), but thoughtful gestures that show you are thinking of her will make a difference to her. When you don’t do even the little things, she may start to think you don’t really care. A small bouquet of flowers or a even a coffee delivered to her office can be a wonderful gesture.

Don’t make the effort

A good woman recognizes her worth and knows that she deserves someone who puts in the effort. She will watch you relentlessly pursue your goals and wonder why she doesn’t get the same level of effort. Eventually, she will tire of playing second fiddle.

Don’t pursue her

When you assume you’ve already got her, you’re on the path to losing her. Even when you have her, keep pursuing her. Remind her regularly why she chose you.

Stop caring for her

Yes, she is a strong, capable woman who has her sh*t together, but she also deserves to be cared for. You don’t have to take care of her, but you can show you care by doing little things for her.

Be ambiguous in your feelings

A good woman wants a man whose response to her presence in his life is “f*ck yes.”

Mark Manson puts it this way: “Why would you ever be excited to be with someone who is not excited to be with you? If they’re not happy with you now, what makes you think they’ll be happy to be with you later? Why do you make an effort to convince someone to date you when they make no effort to convince you?”

When you approach her with less than a “f*ck yes,” she’s going to see it as a “f*ck no.”

You don’t have to be “Tom Cruise jumping on a couch” excited to see her, but if you seem like you can take her or leave her, she will soon take the latter.

Of course, this list isn’t exhaustive. But, if you are looking for a sure way to lose a good woman, begin employing any of these behaviors in your relationship and you’ll soon see it fall apart.

If your goal isn’t to lose her, but you see yourself in this list, now is a good time to recalibrate—you know—before you lose her.

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Author: Lisa Vallejos
Image: Take this Waltz/IMDb
Editor: Lieselle Davidson
Copy Editor: Khara-Jade Warren
Social Editor: Sara Karpanen