Porn Stars Reveal what the Industry Taught them about Real Sex.

Via Alice Williams
on Sep 12, 2017
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Americans love their porn. 

We’re accessing it earlier on in life, and sex educators are telling us that porn is playing an increasing role in how young people form their ideas about sex.

But who knows more about the reality of porn than the performers themselves? I spoke to three performers to get their views on how porn sex differs from real sex, the porn “look,” speaking up and…plunging.”

What works on screen doesn’t always work in real life.

Lucie Bee is a porn star, activist, and soon to be porn producer. She has worked in the industry for seven years:

What a lot of people don’t realise is that the sex acts you see in porn are more reflective of what’s physically possible to shoot in a certain location rather than what feels good. A lot of the porn I see makes me think, “I would not do that in real life.” We’re basically thinking, “How can I use this piece of furniture?”

Ryan James swapped a job in investment banking for a career in the adult industry. Since then, he’s filmed over 150 sex scenes:

Porn is for the most part just a physical act. No one knows that better than the people making the films. Sometimes people assume that those who make porn are missing something when it comes to sex and emotional attachments. If anything, porn has taught me that the emotional aspect of sex is hugely important. It’s something I place more value on now than before I started making adult films because it’s what differentiates porn sex from real sex.

Luc Dean has been performing in gay and straight porn for the past three years:

Porn: it’s all about what looks good on camera. I’ll do things on set like full on plunging during sex for the camera, but that doesn’t actually do anything for me personally. My “fun buddies” who don’t work in the industry will say, “Can we do x, y, z?” that they’ve seen in porn, and I’ll say, “Sure, but you won’t enjoy it! It looks good on camera, but it’s fantasy.”

It’s not what you look like.

Lucie: A lot of my friends still have that typical porn look where it’s all about implants, lip fillers, hair extensions, and tans as far as the eye can see. At the end of the day, that look will always sell. But that’s such a narrow aesthetic, and people want something different.

In my first scenes, I had a fake tan and the worst hair extensions I’ve ever seen. As a massive dork, I was just so stoked that they wanted me. But eventually, I made a point of stopping all that. It’s very important that people viewing porn see bodies like mine.

Male fans always ask about my co-stars like, “I like bet that guy has the best junk in world.” There’s that assumption that every man we ever worked with was hung like horse, but it’s not true.

Speaking up = better sex.

Lucie: Most of the horror stories around exploitation and porn come out of the United States. I’m probably different to a lot of performers in that I’ve learned to be a lot more vocal.

Porn has given me the ability to have a frank discussions with my partners, both in real life and on screen, and what works for me and what doesn’t.

My knees, for example, are not a happy part of my body! And all that contortionist sh*-t–just no. My basic concept is comfort. If something isn’t working for me, I will be straight up about it.

Real sex is hilarious, messy, and takes time.

Lucie: Real sex is not perfect, and it’s not meant to be. There are those hilarious moments when you’re sitting on a chair and someone slips, and there’s the intensity, eye contact, and passion too. I don’t think porn has really captured that on screen. In producing my own content, I want to capture all those silly moments of intimacy and fun and laughter.

Luc: With porn, there is always a clock ticking, so there’s pressure to get on the highway and go straight to 100. What makes real life sex good is taking your time, and if funny sounds happen you can make a joke. In porn any “breaks” in character need to be edited out.

Great sex comes from chemistry.

Lucie: Porn can be reduced to a technical act, but like real sex, it’s so much better when you have chemistry. There are some amazing companies who bring performers together who do have that great chemistry, but we don’t see it all the time.

Luc: I’m probably unusual in that I don’t enjoy casual sex with strangers. I need to have an emotional connection. On set, I try to make it more “human” when I’m shooting if I can, but sometimes you’re not on the same wavelength [as your co-star]. Still, you have to get on with the show.

Ryan: Making films is, first and foremost, a job. It’s not about the performers’ sexual desire, it’s about what looks good on camera. But great sex comes from having sexual chemistry and all partners being comfortable with one another. But there’s a growing market for completely unscripted, “real” porn, where there’s no direction and real sexual chemistry is desired.

Porn is meant to be inspirational, not aspirational.

Lucie: We don’t talk enough about how porn is fantasy. It’s meant to inspire and arouse. There’ll always be companies trying to lift the bar in terms of extreme content, but it’s repetitive. It’s not inspiring; people aren’t seeing anything they can do in their personal life.

Your sex life is not going to look exactly like that, and that’s okay—it’s not meant to. And boys, female pleasure isn’t as difficult as people make it out to be.

Ryan: [To young people forming ideas about sex] I would say, you shouldn’t try to replicate what you see in porn just because you think it looks good. If one partner doesn’t want to do something, they should never feel the need to explain themselves. The focus should be on what both partners enjoy doing.

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Relephant:

How Pornography is eroding Masculinity. {Adult} 

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Author: Alice Williams
Image: Flickr/Marina Spektr
Editor: Travis May
Copy Editor: Catherine Monkman
Social Editor: Taia Butler

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About Alice Williams

Alice Williams is a Melbourne author and yoga teacher. She teaches media writing at the University of Melbourne. Say hello on The Twitter or The Facebook! Read more from A.V. Williams...

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