When I pulled up to the red light, I glanced over at the gentleman in the car next to me. It was at the same time he looked at me and together we shared a sweet smile.

As I turned my gaze forward, I realized how cute he was and looked over to him again. He was still looking at me and smiling really big.

The light changed from red to green, and we drove forward only to find ourselves next to each other again. With a nervous, fluttering, sort of shy feeling, I looked back over to him.

He motioned for me to roll down my passenger side window. I did and he asked me how my night was going. I responded that I was feeling fantastic and asked him how his night was going. After he shared that it was wonderful, he asked if I wanted to have a drink with him.

I paused to check in with myself, and I felt my heart perk up to this invitation and used that as feedback from myself that I did want to have a drink with him. I said, “yes!”

He followed with, “Great follow me and we’ll go somewhere nearby.”

I pulled behind him, and he led the way to an elegant bar a couple blocks from where we were. As I followed him, I noticed my mind contracting into the thoughts of, “You are being stupid. This is how people get killed. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?”

I kept noticing this dialogue I was having with myself and asked my “higher self” what it wanted me to do. Underneath the doubt and fear, I felt my body “lift” to meeting this person. There was a genuine lightness.

We arrived at the bar and got out of our cars. We were both giddy and shy as we said hello and introduced ourselves. Small chat ensued as we went inside and ordered a couple of drinks. As we talked and learned more about each other, I realized that I wasn’t into this guy at all.

He was cute, drove a nice car (clearly, he had a lot of money), but it didn’t feel like we had much in common, and the conversation was drying fast. For a moment, I felt obligated to finish my drink, because it was expensive and he bought it for me. But I didn’t want to.

I really didn’t want to.

That was when I gave myself permission to own my “no” just as I had with my “yes.” I turned toward him at the bar and said, “This has been awesome, because we were both in our ‘yes’ and this is how we met. What a cool experience this has been. This is how we experience the lives we want to live. Thank you for saying ‘yes’ with me. Thank you for the drink and best of love to you.”

He looked at me confused, and I put on my jacket and left the bar.

I felt empowered as I walked away, because I was operating from my genuine guidance, both with the authentic “yes” I felt to meet him, and my authentic “no” to leave.

My “yes” represents: My openness and willingness to meet a romantic partner, my desire to live life to the fullest, and to be spontaneous and step outside what is comfortable in order to meet life.

My “no” represents: When I am genuinely not feeling the flow, it is time to redirect my energy and choose a new course of action—and to not base my decision on how someone else may react.

I use this experience to emphasize the clarity I want to continue to feel through this 2018 year and beyond.

If I would have said “no” to the invitation, I would have always wondered about what might have been. And I would have been operating out of fear. I am glad I cleared that space in my head and heart and can move forward with more insight into who I am.

How do you access and allow your authentic “yes” and “no” to guide your life? What life experiences would you open to if you were more connected to your inner guidance?

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Author: Paris Latka
Image: Unsplash/Jordan Bauer
Editor: Travis May
Copy Editor: Catherine Monkman