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April 26, 2018

Parenting your Parent.

When a Parent & Child’s Roles begin to Reverse.

I just said goodbye to my momma this morning.

We had a wonderful visit. I learned a lot, and a lot of learning came to fruition.

For many years—decades, really—our relationship has changed and flipped so that I feel more “in charge” and capable, and she feels less so. That’s been hard and weirdly insulting, as if things were backward. But I’ve learned that being irritated with her sometimes-stubborn helplessness is pointless, and mean, and wrong. And that just taking things lightly, and really being there for her no matter what, is what’s important. And then things feel sweet and loving again.

In even the hardest times we’ve been 90% loving, but now, finally, after nearly 20 days together all day long, a third of that traveling together, I can say I’ve figured it out and been able to fall into a rhythm of love and service with her.

Last night, when she’d lost her wallet, was the peak of that—she was so upset and sad and hard on herself, endlessly–and I was just helpful and there for her, when I could have been condescending and told her to get over it or just made things worse.

And this morning, she found it.

I love you mom. Love you! You are everything good that has ever happened to me.

 

 

 

 

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