Warning: naughty language ahead!
Fuck first dates that are magic,
Because they always end in fucking.
Two days later I realize I’ve slept with someone I nearly despise,
But the beginnings were magic.
You rush in;
I want you.
But I don’t want your religion.
I don’t want your addiction.
I don’t want your racism.
I don’t want your privilege.
I don’t want your man-child pout.
I don’t want it.
I don’t want you.
So fuck first dates.
You can meet me in a parking lot,
Stare at a brick wall for an hour,
Tell me your flaws.
The magic can wait;
I want cardboard
Because I’m sick of first dates that prey on my conception of love,
Sunrises on the world’s best beaches,
Hand-prepared favorite meals and jazz.
Coffee bars straight off Instagram.
I’m fucking sick of the tricks
That get me into bed.
Fuck first dates—
I’ll take the second date instead.