As a writer, it is quite common for me to do a lot of reading.
I wake up at dawn every morning and I get right to it—and if I have nothing to write, then I damn well better be reading something. This was, at least, the case that went on earlier this week when I was reading as many articles as I could by writers wholly dissatisfied with their sex lives.
One common thread that seemed to keep appearing in many of these articles was the less than stellar bedroom performance that they all endured more often than not.
Some articles theorized that the younger generation seemed much more interested in watching porn on their smartphones than developing a beautiful and caring sexual relationship with a real human. This, I’m sure, is the case in more than a few relationships. However, there could also be something else to it.
It’s no secret that, as a population, Americans are not in the greatest shape. According to the most current statistics from the Center for Disease Control, about 40 percent of Americans suffer with what they label as “obesity.”
Now, I am very sensitive to the issues around body shaming so I would not, for even a moment, start lecturing anyone about their body mass index (B.M.I.). But, I will say that we can all be better lovers if we were in better shape.
I’ve done the research! I’ve spoken to the trainers! I can tell you right now which daily exercises will give you incredible bedroom stamina and help you to become the lovers you’ve always knew you could be:
You know those little trampolines people use for exercise? If you don’t own one, you can usually pick up a halfway decent one for $25 to $50. The health benefits of jumping up and down on a rebounder for just 15 minutes a day are incredibly propitious.
NASA did a study in 1980 where they proved some pretty astounding results. But, to summarize it without boring you to tears, it has been proven to stimulate the lymphatic system which creates a healthy domino effect in your body; flushing out toxins, increasing confidence and lung capacity and making you a star in the sack.
You can grab yourself a pair of light dumb bells fairly cheaply, and you’ll be glad you did. Strength training has a tendency to increase blood flow, levels of testosterone and overall self-confidence, as well—three key elements to a healthy sex drive for men and, believe it or not, for women. I’d recommend doing three sets of 10 right from your apartment floor. One caveat: don’t over do it! As I said, three sets of 10 every day along with your other exercises will be more than enough.
Again, try doing three sets of 10 every day. Push ups can strengthen your upper body and make it so that bedroom fun can last longer. If you have found yourself requesting your partner be on top more often as you get older, this will surely assist you in not having to push all the work off on the other person—to put it politely.
Lacking strength messes with your psyche and just makes it so that—even on a sub-conscious level—you feel too tired to engage. This is not good and can be avoided with a little effort.
Sit-ups are effective in the way that push-ups are effective but, of course, they work the abdominal muscles instead of the upper body and shoulders. Typically, women take about four times longer than the average man to achieve orgasm—all other variables being equal. So if you guys want to make yourself useful, train your abs and it will no longer be a hardship to help your partner “get there.”
We’ve all heard the cliché that the brain is the most important sexual organ—and it really is true.
When you meditate, you are able to stay in the moment, you get better sleep at night, and you decrease the amount of stress you feel from the common day-to-day mental detritus that has a tendency to build up in most of us over time. This is a better aphrodisiac than shellfish. If you find meditation challenging or have no experience with it, there are iPhone and Android apps that will provide the necessary “training wheels” to get you started.
Just search for “meditation apps” and look for the ones with the best reviews. I’ll admit, I use them from time to time when I can’t shut the noise in my head down by myself.
All in all, the one continuing theme about all of this effort—if you decide to take a half hour a day to dedicate to it—is that it will decrease stress and anxiety. Exercise and meditation have been proven to do this. And with less stress and less anxiety, there will surely be more sex. And the sex will be better for you and your partner.