October 18, 2018

Why we Should all be Masturbating More & 1 Nifty Little Tool to Help with That. {Partner}

This post is offered in partnership with our friends at Dame. We’re honored to work with them—they’re eco, sexy, and fun. Let’s make some self-love! ~ ed.


Female energy is rising.

We are experiencing it on social media, with political fights for justice, the #MeToo movement, and Women’s Marches—basically, we are riding what is called “the fourth wave of feminism.”

However, with our constant online and real-life needs and juggling between work and relationships, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected with ourselves. The feeling of disconnection happens when we forget our own, personal needs; when we forget to be in the present moment. We might not want to treat or give pleasure to ourselves, because we fear that we are being selfish.

As empowered women, what can we do to balance our hectic lives and bring well-being to our daily routines?

According to science, two things help. We meditate and…masturbate.

That’s right. You read the two m-words in the same sentence. Let me explain.

Modern science is finally acknowledging that meditation is an effective tool to relieve psychological stress. It also calms our minds, help us gain clarity, and increases intuition and concentration.

The same goes for masturbation.

In fact, studies have shown that mindfulness may be experienced through practices other than just meditation.

In 2016, Dr. J David Creswell, in association with Carnegie Mellon University, studied how in practicing mindfulness techniques (as opposed to relaxation exercises), we can alter connectivity patterns in the brain, resulting in improved health.

And luckily, these days, we don’t have to do everything on our own.

Dame Products was founded by smart women with the purpose of making phenomenal sex toys to openly empower the sexual experiences of vulva owners.

Shop Dame*—made by vulva owners for vulva owners>>

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Having more head-space is not the only positive impact of mindful masturbation. Other benefits include:

Sleeping deeper. The Canadian scientists Mitchell Moffit and Gregory Brown discovered that chemicals released by masturbation include dopamine, which triggers the pleasure centers of the brain and reduces stress, endorphins which reduce pain—including menstrual pain in women—and prolactin, which aids sleep.

Knowing our sexual needs. Masturbation is an excellent way to listen to our bodies but it is also the most pleasurable way to practice mindfulness. The women behind Dame Products believe that sex toys should satisfy real women’s real needs. And why not? A research report by The Californian Palo Alto Medical Foundation in 2015 concluded that masturbation may help us to relieve built-up stress, boost our mood, relax, feel pleasure—and to understand our sexual needs better.

Now that’s a whole lotta love.

Loving ourselves. Self-pleasuring is a tangible act of self-love. It is a practice we can use to know ourselves and to empower our sexuality. Dame’s latest member of the family, a vibrator called Pom has been designed to actively help us to take our own sexual power back and get to know to our bodies better.

It’s a nifty little tool designed especially for mindful masturbation.

Reclaim your Yes…Yes! Oh God, Yes! with Dame* >>

*get $10 off your order with code EJ10

Reclaiming our power. According to the National Health and Social Life Survey, 39 percent of American women aged 18 to 60 reported masturbating during the previous year, compared with 61 percent of American men. That’s a big difference! Sex toys don’t need to mean dull design with a flashy feature or a kooky shape. Dame is the future of sex toys and they are designed to heighten our pleasure.

Now who runs the world?

Being happier. Solo sex can boost metabolism and stimulate the production of endorphins, the brain chemicals that help ease pain and stress. A study done by research scientists at U.C. Davis showed that meditation can lower the amount of cortisol in the body, otherwise known as the stress hormone. Less cortisol + less stress = more capacity for joy. Seeing the pattern here?

Making us prettier (inside and out). Solo sex is not only a well-being routine, it’s also a beauty routine. Mindful masturbation doesn’t only make us feel physically aroused, but it also creates more acceptance for our bodies. A friend of mine told me that during super busy days, she masturbates instead of putting makeup on. Try it, the results are immediate—and the compliments too.

(Yes, I’ve tried it—and it really works!)

Being in the body. Another benefit is that self-pleasuring is a practice which combines mindfulness with embodiment. Mindful masturbation is a wonderful way to bring together embodiment—the feeling we often gain from exercise—with the practice of mindfulness.

Basically, mindful masturbation is a holistic act of well-being.

Sometimes, it takes time to find ways to feel connected with our bodies again. Dame toys are designed by and for women, to help us heighten our intimacy and empower women’s sexuality.

Here are some steps for starting your own mindful self-exploration practice (or refining an existing one):

Masturbation as Meditation—Key Tips:

During self-pleasuring, the key is to stay connected to yourself. It is about creating a healthy and loving relationship with ourselves.

As with any form of meditation, focusing on the breath is one of the best ways to stay present. Take a deep inhale, and slowly exhale.

Keep your senses open. Don’t wander your usual fantasy scenes. Commit to yourself, to your own sexuality.

Meditation doesn’t need to be a boring chore. With Pom, designed by Dame, you can use different speeds and patterns. Stay present, listen to your body. Your rhythm might depend on the day.

If we don’t take care of ourselves and stay present, things will only get slowly worse. Anything we choose to do every day becomes part of who we are.

As women, in order to feel truly beautiful and empowered, we should take care of ourselves first. We should take time to enjoy our bodies. To get to know what’s happening between our thighs.

And if you are already feeling fantastic, masturbation is a brilliant way to pass time. (It beats social media scrolling, that’s for sure!)

We can make the world a happier place—one vagina at a time.

Pom is the latest toy from Dame Products. Your next handheld wellness essential, Pom sits in your hand and bends with you to deliver broad or targeted stimulation. Its soft, flexible body features a powerful motor with five patterns, and the option to choose your own intensity, or use one of five preset speeds. And it’s waterproof, for anytime-fun on land or at sea.

Get Dame’s new essential wellness tool: Pom* >>

*get $10 off your order with code EJ10

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