During any romantic relationship, whether it be long-term or short-term, one of the key influencers is the energetic climate that emerges in the beginning and develops over time.

It is this magnetic and insatiable connection that is often completely beyond words, belief systems, and personality dynamics, but is a hallmark of an energetically compatible relationship.

If you have been in love, you will know what I’m talking about.

This energetic connection that I am referring to is beyond the individuals’ control and can emanate from multiple levels of our experience, including physical, emotional, biological, intellectual, and spiritual.

As a tai chi and qigong teacher, I have studied and observed the intricacy of the yin and yang in great detail, as it is the central philosophy of both martial arts.

The yin and yang at its simplest level represents two halves that create wholeness. Within these halves, we can see contrasting qualities—such as masculine and feminine or passive and active. It is a representation of the harmony of opposites and how there can be balance amidst seemingly contrasting forces.

In taking a closer look at the nature of romantic relationships, it is common to see one partner who is more yin dominant in their energy and the other who is more yang. While we can exhibit features of both, one will be more present and it may not correspond to that of our biological gender (yin is feminine, yang is masculine). Discovering which one is our dominant quality can have a profound effect on our understanding of ourselves and the energetic patterns, cycles, and dynamics of our love lives.

Below is a framework to identify if your energy is more yin or yang. Tick the traits that you resonate with for each one and compare your results. Your dominant one will have more than five ticks:

Signs you are yin dominant

>> Happy to fit in, go with the flow, and be passive in decision-making.
>> You are gentle-natured, often introverted, and don’t like conflict.
>> Comfort, physical touch, relaxation, and affection are important needs to be fulfilled.
>> Your mind-set is more intuitive, creative, emotive, and holistic.
>> Your energy embodies the element of water in your temperament.
>> Self-confidence, assertiveness, and personal authority are attractive to you.
>> You embody the roles of the carer, the listener, the healer, and always look for solutions to problems.
>> Regularly creating time for calm and peaceful activities is important to you.
>> The moon archetype strongly resonates with you.

Signs you are yang dominant

>> You’ve been told you “wear the trousers” in your relationship.
>> Comfortable in making mutual decisions with ease, speed, and confidence.
>> You have heightened energy, vitality, and are more restless than your partner.
>> Mental stimulation, adventure, ambition, and achievement are key needs to be met.
>> Yang mind-set is more logical, serious, linear, structured, organised, and rational.
>> Your energy embodies the element of fire in your temperament.
>> Regularly doing active sports appeals more to you than to your partner.
>> You take on more responsibilities, house duties, and are the “go-getter” in the relationship.
>> The sun archetype strongly resonates with you.

The yin and yang interact like magnets. Two yang-dominant people will often experience power struggles in a relationship and repel each other in time. Two yin-dominant people will experience the same energetic deficiency and the compatibility will inevitably fade.

If you are male and yin dominant, it doesn’t make you any less of a man. Likewise for a yang-dominant female.

Instead, this principle can help couples find each other’s strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and agreements and disagreements.

In doing so, it will reveal the interdependence of yin and yang and how it can fluctuate in different circumstances, dynamics, and be variable in the relationship over time.