We encounter this feeling, as a way to alert that us that an others heart has gone rogue. That’s right! ROGUE!
I imagine there is not one person, existing today, that is unscathed by their past relationships. So, when sharing time with our new partners, we may find moments of the past, creeping into the now.
When instances such as these occur, we generally hope to find the needed space to center, review and heal. But, sometimes, when in the presence of our partners, we are triggered by something, that immediately sends us into a state of stillness (much like in meditation), to re-look at the past, and relate it to the now.
Many times without it being a conscious choice. Meaning… they are not aware that they are absent, when with you!
This moment, when our partner takes a breather, may leave us really uncomfortable. Especially if the relationship is new.
As a society we have learned that being alone is not preferred, so, when we feel occurrences of it, and if we do not address the presence of the emotion (attached to being or feeling alone) and send it packing, quickly, we may fall pray to our own inner egoistic monologue. Leading us into a spiral of a negative thinking, and before we know it, we too, may slip off into contemplation.
If we are someone that distinctively fears being alone, we may be triggered, just enough, to immediately close the connection to our partner (see why that contemplation is beneficial?).
For those of you that know you have some work to do around abandonment, or in feeling alone, I have a simple affirmation that will help you in better resolving the emotions attached to the past occurrences. Affirm:
‘I AM not my past, nor am I the burden of others. I AM all heart. I ask my heart to free me from any old feelings of being unwanted, disposable, or easy to let go of. I am worthy of relationships that support and care for me, in ways that I feel are right. I ask to better accept all I have been through, and by doing so, I understand that I am only offered what I myself am capable of undergoing. I ask for all energy today, to be sent towards removing old emotions and replacing them with only gratitude for having been offered the lessons which have helped guide me today. Thank you heart.’
Each emotion we encounter is meant to be reviewed, and yes, sometimes, while in the presence of our partners.
We all bring forth baggage!
You know those people that take like twenty suitcases to the airport, for a two day adventure? Well, they outwardly show, just how much personal baggage they carry with them! And, you know that one person that can single-handedly adventure the world, wandering for months, with only a back pack? Well, they wander their heart enough, to remain free of unnecessary baggage, and bring few hurts forward, in which to be reviewed.
Think about your partner. Do they lug items that will never be used or needed? Do they have just what they need? Or, do they fall just short of packing what is truly needed for the journey?
How about yourself?
When you have these answers, there is no need to judge, only to understand more deeply, from another perspective.
As I always find myself uttering, trust your heart to guide you. Also, learn how to support yourself emotionally, NOW. How? Affirm:
‘I AM strong. I understand that all I face is right for me to face. I ask my heart to offer insight and support me in times of unsurety. I understand that my significant other will need space, and that this may leave me feeling alone at times. I also understand that not all moments are meant to be shared, and I trust, in these moments, that I am offered time to breathe and work through my emotions as they arise too. I thank my heart for the offering of time with my other, and appreciate the teachings that are offered to me directly. Thank you.’
Once you stand in your own strength, you will find that you no longer feel left behind, disregarded, or treated to that feeling of being alone.
We teach one another by being in relationship with one another.
Each moment that occurs, has much to offer, as well as many resolutions to consider. When you are met with absence, choose the resolution that fits you, and try to consciously remain present enough to not transverse the road that leads you into anger, resentment, or hate.
You are a loving being, and able to stand in your own power – while supporting another, in a time that they need space for review, to be better equipped to entertain a relationship with YOU.
Each relationship is worth your time… should you feel it is so!