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December 24, 2018

An Achiever’s Guide to New Years Resolutions

For all the high achievers out there, it’s easy to constantly focus on the next goalpost and milestone without pausing to reflect on the wins, losses and lessons that have unfolded along the journey. Happiness is never on the other side of the goal post, because that goal post is always moving. It’s the journey, the process, the in between where we derive much fulfillment and satisfaction, even if it’s uncomfortable and challenging.

This is a Year in Review exercise designed to help you reflect in an intentional way so that you can:

  1. Feel proud of what you have created and achieved. This practice is key in self-compassion, and self-compassion has been scientifically proven to lower stress, increase confidence, empathy, connection to others and overall sense of well-being
  2. Be proactive about relations – from romantic, business to platonic. Our relationships are the greatest factor of our happiness and health and too often people take a reactive, passive approach to their relationships. Do not let people just happen to you. Be intentional about the energy you have in your life, and the energy you emit to others.
  3. If done each year, you’ll have a record of your evolution. We forget the things in between, and by having our key moments written down, this will help provide perspective of how we are growing in this beautiful game of life.

KEY EVENTS / MOMENTS / MILESTONES

  • Professional
  • Personal

RELATIONSHIPS

Romantic

List the romantic connections you had and any key lessons, positives/negatives, endings, beginnings. If you’re in a relationship, reflect on key moments that created more connection and inspiration, and what challenges you faced (and what you learned).

Friendships

In this section, reflect on new people you developed a friendship with were meaningful and impactful in your life. Assess the friendships that you invested in and deepened. List the friends that maintained and most importantly, reflect on who you intentionally decided to minimize time/energy into. Remember, you can love your friends/family all you want, but this does not mean they should be your immediate peer group. When you take space from the people who are negatively impacting you, you make space for new people who are more of an energetic fit. friendships

  • New meaningful friendships
  • Friendships you deepened
  • Friendships you maintained
  • Friendships you minimized

KEY LESSONS

It’s only a failure when you don’t try and don’t learn. Everything else is an opportunity for growth. Look at the mistakes, the challenges, the perceived negative events, the patterns that didn’t serve you – what are the key lessons you learned that you can work on practicing and incorporating?

WHAT YOU MANIFESTED WITH INTENTION

How is your manifesting powers working out for you? Review the things you set out to achieve and create and write down the things that manifested.

WHAT UNFOLDED SYNCHRONISTICALLY

 “Those who do not believe in magic will never find it.” – Roald Dahl

Sometimes we think we know what we want and get so caught up with our plan, that we don’t recognize that sometimes things don’t work out because something better was meant to come along. Reflect on the things that didn’t go according to plan that ended up working in your favor. Write down the things that serendipitously happened that you didn’t even expect. Looking back, are there any dots that connected? Look for the magic.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO MANIFEST NEXT?

What you focus your attention on, grows. What do you want to manifest? Don’t put a timeline on it, because that’s something beyond your control. But, open your mind, expand what you think is possible and imagine what you want to create as if it’s already happened. Write this down.

WHO DO YOU HAVE TO THANK?

Love is an active process. Do not wait until sickness or death to let people know how they inspired you. Review the 3 people who positively impacted you this year. Maybe they provided a connection that turned into a brilliant opportunity. Maybe they really showed up during a time of emotional hardship. Maybe they introduced you to the love of your life. Write them a note (either by hand or by email) to let them know how they impacted your life and why you are grateful.

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Tina B Apr 17, 2019 10:47pm

Thank you for this amazing article!

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Amy Chan

Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. She is also the Editor-in-Chief of JustMyType.ca—an online magazine that focuses on the psychology behind love, lust, and desire. The Observer calls her “A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw” and her company was recently featured on the front page of the New York Times. You can also follow Amy on her Instagram page.