Being a single mum is possibly one of the most challenging jobs around. Its a rollercoaster of ups and downs goods and bads!
A lot of single mums experience the pressure pendulum, balancing: the joys of what’s working and the burn out of exhaustion. isolation, experience of failure, fear of the future, burn out, overwhelm, exhaustion and chronic lack of support where there is no support in co-parenting.
For the most part single mums don’t choose to do it alone, they are forced into such senarios due to breakups of relationships, breakdowns in communication with ex partners and lack of a support network.
The scariest problem a single mum faces is the lack of support as it takes a lot of energy and support to raise a well adjusted child. A single mum has to be elasta mum, all things to possibly not one or two but three to four children. The bringer of values, the authority of a father figure, the nurturing mother, the listener, the carer, the provider, the list goes on. Being all things at all times can be so wearing down for single mums. This is why a network of support is essential.
Single mums can’t afford to be selective about support! Any positive helpful support albeit sometimes a small difference in values, is valuable.
A support group is essential, helpful people who see and understand the needs of a single mother, essential. There are enough people out there who would judge! Value and be thankful for what supports are there.
Self love and self care is key when avoiding the guilt of single parenthood. Keep telling yourself your doing a good job. Detachment from the idea of ideal support or being the ideal parent key. If the love for your children is there it will work with ‘a little help from my friends’ as the song goes! Where support is not given freely, learn to support yourself. If the support isn’t coming from the source you might like it to come from, stop wasting time, breath and precious life force on expecting it too. Support was never won by appealing to the moral conscience of its oppressor.
Find new avenues of support: parenting classes, other single parents, spiritual and other positive living support.
An ounce of support is worth tens times more than a truck load of sympathy, and most single mums due to fear of judgement are afraid to ask for support. Society needs to look at the support of the mother and build a culture around it. A supported mother is a bringer of life and will thrive in such a mindset. So look at how you are looking today and bring some awareness into the vision. It just might change someone’s direction, life or happiness.
Copyright Saralee Healing x