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How I heal—one day at a time.
Our thoughts get in the way so much!
They can keep us from healthy relationships, send us into a downward spiral of depression or anxiety, delay our success and promotion at work, and make our physical bodies sick.
They also aid our lives in various miraculous ways.
Much of whether an outcome is positive or negative depends on how we focus, clear, and develop healthy thought patterns.
On my personal growth journey, shifting away from fearful and anxious thoughts has been a challenge, requires lots of focus, and is a necessary, ongoing practice.
As a yoga and meditation teacher and hypnotherapist, I engage in both daily practices and weekly ones that require more time and energy.
One technique I have added to my healing toolbox is using the theta brain wave state for changing beliefs.
It has helped to clear lots of old, stored beliefs (some which I didn’t know I had) that were tripping me up and holding me back. However, I was only using it once a week because the full process is extensive, and I often wished I had more time to explore it.
Then it occurred to me to combine a shorter theta process with some other practices I love to do daily and create a new bedtime ritual.
My new routine resolves negative buildup from the day, heals my body and mind, promotes inner peace, and closes the day in a beautiful way so I sleep even better and begin the next day with a smile on my face.
Here are the steps I follow and some guidelines for each. I encourage you to try this protocol as is, and then create your own blend that fits your unique personality and needs.
I start by lighting a candle, holding a crystal, and/or using some relaxing essential oils in a diffuser, and then I get in bed, sitting upright against the pillows.
I meditate for 5 to 10 minutes by focusing on and slowing down my breath, relaxing my body, and exhaling tension. I take a few moments to let go of focus, allowing the mind to be clear and vacant as if creating a blank slate.
2. Find the beliefs.
Then I gently let my mind scan through my day, as if I am an observer. I will notice—without judgement or attachment—situations I was in, challenges that arose, things that felt good, peaceful quiet moments, and the monotonous parts of the day.
As I observe the day and notice a trigger or an emotional response, I take a breath and ask, “What do I believe/think that caused me to react/feel that way?” I write down all the beliefs that could be true. Then I move onto the next trigger. I do this for all parts of the day until my exploration feels thorough and complete.
Beliefs can be cleared from anything that makes us feel anxious, angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated, indifferent, depressed, stressed, scared, guilty, shamed, hopeless, or nervous. Additionally, I always check for resentment, rejection, regret, and fear.
Example: My boss snapped at me and I feel anxious that she is mad, angry because I deserve to be treated better, fearful about consequences, and guilty for some reason I don’t understand since I am doing my best.
(Note: Beliefs have to be stated without the use of “not”—the reason why will become clear in #3.)
>> I am good enough. (Instead of: I am not good enough.)
>> I fear losing my job.
>> I fear I disappoint people.
>> I need approval to feel okay.
>> I am doing my best.
>> People appreciate my efforts. (Instead of: People don’t appreciate my efforts.)
>> People value me. (Instead of: People do not value me.)
>> I feel inauthentic at work.
>> I resent my boss.
>> I feel rejected.
>> I regret responding weakly.
>> I fear authority figures.
>> I fear doing it wrong.
3. Muscle test.
Then I stand up and do a muscle test. (I know—we were already cozy in bed. Sorry!)
Muscle testing yourself is easy.
Simply relax, be open-minded, and feel each statement as you say it. For most people, when a statement is true, the body leans forward—literally leaning into a yes to the thought. And the body leans back when the statement is false or no.
Face north (you can use your phone’s compass) and muscle test your statements one at a time. Start by saying, “Yes, yes, yes,” and feel the “yes” in your body. See how your body responds. Then say, “No, no, no,” and feel the “no” in your body. See how your body responds.
Also try saying, “My name is _____,” and fill in the blank with your name. And then say, “My name is _____,” and fill in the blank with another name. See how your body responds.
If it leans forward to yes and to the true statements, please proceed. If it leans another direction or you do not get a clear shift, drink water and begin again. Your body needs to be properly hydrated to test and you really need to feel the words in your body for it to be accurate.
Then go through the list, saying each statement you wrote down and feeling the confirmation or disagreement in your body. Muscle test each belief and cross out any beliefs you do not have an issue with.
>> When saying, “I am good enough,” if the body rocks back, that in fact confirms I do not feel good enough.
>> When saying, “I fear losing my job,” if the body rocks forward, that means I do fear losing my job.
>> When saying, “I resent my boss,” if the body rocks back, that means that belief is not true for me. I do not hold any resentments.
And smile when you do not hold resentments because they are toxic in the body!
4. E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Technique).
At this point, I have a short list of beliefs to clear. If it is a long list, I close my eyes, take three deep breaths, and re-open, letting my eyes land on the top two or three beliefs I am meant to heal in this session. Prioritizing is key, allowing me to tap into my intuition so I don’t feel overwhelmed.
Then I get back in bed, and go through a brief EFT process. With the first statement, I tap away.
Example for the belief that I am not good enough:
>> Tapping the top of the head, say out loud, “I am not good enough.”
>> Tapping in between the eyebrows, say out loud, “I hate not feeling good enough.”
>> Tapping the side of the eye, say out loud, “It makes me so anxious.”
>> Tapping underneath the eye, say out loud, “I feel inferior.”
>> Tapping underneath the nose, say out loud, “It makes me feel so low.”
>> Tapping underneath the bottom lip, say out loud, “I do not feel valued.”
>> Tapping the chest between the collarbones and using the whole hand, say out loud, “I do not feel respected.”
>> Tapping the side of the torso on the bra line, say out loud, “It makes me depressed.”
I repeat the series with whatever words come to me until I cannot think of any more. Then I grab my right wrist with my left hand, take a deep breath, hold at the top for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly and say, “peace.”
5. Change the beliefs.
Next, I get into the theta brain wave state to change my beliefs. Change takes place easily while in the theta brain wave.
Note: There are some good soundtracks on YouTube for getting into the theta state, as well as guided meditations. Or you can follow this visualization:
Imagine floating up out of your body, into space among the beautiful stars and vast, peaceful stillness. Keep going up higher and higher through various colored lights until you reach the highest, brightest white light possible. As you journey to this place in your mind, slow your breath and adjust your head as if you are searching for the light.
Once you have reached the white light, immerse yourself in it and become one with the light.
Inside the quiet of your mind, request that the belief be released from your entire being and sent straight into the white light to be dissolved, never to be seen, heard, or felt in your body, mind, or soul again. Then ask that this old belief be replaced with whatever new positive beliefs you want.
“The belief that I am not good enough is released from every cell and all parts of me and sent straight into the light to be dissolved, resolved, removed, and never to be seen, heard, or felt in my body, mind, or soul again. This old belief is now replaced with the beliefs that I am perfectly enough just as I am now, I am accepted, and I accept myself. I am loved, and I love myself for who I am.”
Then visualize this change happening in every cell, in that very moment. Smile, and trust that it is done. Wait until you feel filled with gratitude and optimism and until your intuition tells you it is complete and time to move on.
Do that process with each belief you want to change.
Then I write about myself as if these changes have already been integrated. I write about how I carry myself, how I act at work, how I treat other people, and how I feel deep on the inside. I write about the weight that has been lifted, the lightness I feel in my heart, the trust that comes from releasing negative beliefs that get in the way, and about becoming a purer, kinder version of myself.
Now I imagine myself stepping under a beautiful waterfall. The warm droplets gently land on my skin and wash away everything from the past. I relax, bathing in that waterfall for as long as it takes to feel the day disappear, and for the essence of tomorrow’s purer, higher, more authentic me emerge.
The process is complete.
At this point, I suggest staying in this mental state and going right to sleep, using the meditative theta brain wave state to quickly take you into deep, peaceful sleep.
This process is an effective way to incrementally work on personal development for 15 to 20 minutes a day. Many of us have a seemingly endless number of things we could heal to feel more open, happy, fulfilled, and free. But carving out large chunks of time or planning that weekend retreat can be overwhelming and often gets postponed. Gradual, regular change offers us even more healing over the course of a month or a year because it happens consistently.
Plus, slow continuous practice lets the change fully integrate and seep into our lives in ways that short intense bursts usually do not. Have you ever been confused and a bit thrown off when you get home from a peaceful retreat or healing session, and that “new Zen you” does not seem to fit into your busy life? I have!
Luckily, there are simple practices we can do each day to heal one day at a time.
Daily work allows us to see changes over time and to step more seamlessly into a better version of ourselves day by day. A mentor once told me, “Every day is a little life,” and from my perspective, personal growth, emotional clearing, self-love, and mindful presence should absolutely be a part of that precious gift of daily life.
If this resonates with you and you think you could benefit from coaching or guidance regarding any of these practices, reach out to a professional. A good healer or coach will teach you how to do the techniques on your own, so you can get the clarity you need and merge these lifesaving tools into your own personal practice.
Best wishes on your unique healing and growth journey!