The grooves of my fingers

fill with life, like a monsoon,

I am giving more of myself every day.

There are times, I wonder

how there is anything left

in my body because I’d give

every last cell to see you smile.

 

My organs serve at the alter

of Egyptian Gods, mummify me

if it means you’ll breath again

and if it means the trauma

will fade from your eyes

like the tide that comes and goes

with the cycle of the moon.

 

Wounds never heal but at the surface,

underneath is where pains hides

like a old lover, making a home

inside your bones, building a family

and tearing it down again.

Violence isn’t a game but rather

a determined virus infecting

every last movement, dancing

is something I never do anymore.

 

I got tired of partners stepping

on my toes and anyway,

I have too much work to do.

If I stop, the ground won’t stabilize

under the unsteady feet of children.

If I stop, I feel the weight of hope

lingering inside my chest.

I don’t have a heart but I have hope.

I cling to it like I used to hate

clinging to my mothers hand

as we crossed the road on the way to school.

 

There are so many hands to hold,

hands that have never been held with love.

Every time I feel like I have no more to give,

I remember I can’t give any less than what I have inside me.

I am a well that looks dry

but I will always have something for you to drink.

I save it for you and leave nothing for myself,

my therapist says I have poor boundaries.

 

I think there should be no boundaries

between the souls of human beings,

no boundaries between countries

or men or women, or children

but those that keep sadness at bay.

I will be a boundary like a barbed wire,

let me keep you safe, keep the bruises

from littering your body in the name of romance.

 

And if you feel alone,

if you ever feel completely alone,

my fingertips are just in reach.

I am only one person,

who doesn’t know how to fix herself

but I will do my best to be a horizon for you.

Look to the future with me,

there is a light shining and the only way to reach it is forward.

March, beat your chest in tandem

with our combined footsteps,

scream at the sky you deserve,

never look back to the fading red sunset,

never doubt, never dream that I am not here with you,

fighting to live again.