Today on your birthday, I have the perfect piece to honor you. We have so many childhood memories,

I could probably write books ?. I wrote this with the best intentions and I hope my love and appreciation for you and our childhood resonates in this piece of writing. 

Vanessa lives in Oz since 2014. She calls me mate sometimes now ?. I won’t say anymore on that ?

I think Vanessa and I have one of the greatest ‘love hate’ relationships – it’s mostly love now, I think, although she still does try to make me learn to face my fears by sending me close up pictures of freaky looking jelly fish, snakes and spiders, snakes coming out of toilets and aircons, snakes slithering happily while she’s watching the kids play sport. As most of you would know, those things roam around in Oz like it’s freakin’ Jumanji.

She still askes me every couple of months to come spend a December holiday there.  She says she misses me but I know better – she needs her fix of traumatizing me with those creepy crawlies.  I’ve also realized that there are some fears that I don’t need to face, not in this lifetime in any case.  Although as my father would say, you don’t face it now, you will come back to face it – I’m happy to come back and face it! 

That brings me back to our childhood.  For the first 6 years of my life we all lived in my grandparents’ home in Dunveria, Pietermaritzburg. It was a huge yard that had two houses built on it. My paternal granny’s sister lived next door with my Aunty Pranitha, Uncle Reuben, my cousins Preval, Preshal & Kailan – who now also live in Oz.

We still spent hours together even when we moved to our own house.  Weekends usually consisted of playing some type of sport, watching movies, running up and down Sunset Crescent, eating, drinking and of course when we became teenagers- sneaking out the windows at night, getting drunk, comparing notes on boyfriends etc.  Yes, Aunty Pranitha, you weren’t going mad and hearing things, it was us trying to run up the drive way and sometime the grass bank undetected, usually drunk and trying our best to be quiet. 

So, if anyone knows me, I have trouble keeping quiet, perfectly sober, drunk, I would always try to be extra careful but as soon as I felt that knock on my head or a hand over my mouth and nose, I knew I wasn’t being that quiet. It was Vanessa, always the protective cousin, trying to keep me out of trouble and sometimes oxygen.

So back to my fear of creepy crawlies, and how Vanessa had in our childhood years on numerous occasions tried to get me to face those fears.  One particular incident stands out.  We were teenagers and we had spent the weekend together in Dunveria.  The one morning we were in the kitchen making breakfast.  Aunty Brenda (Vanessa’s mum) had cooked crab curry the night before. I hate any form of sea food, especially crab, because it looks so horrible.  I have never tasted crab or prawns or any of that other creepy stuff. Which is a blessing in disguise since allergy testing years later revealed that I was severely allergic to shell fish.

So, I am happily buttering my toast when this crab sticks comes in from behind me and straight into my mouth. VANESSA!!  I fought her off and took off down the passage, with the knife in my hand.  Of course, she ran after me, as usual she caught me, and of course she shoved that crab stick so far up my mouth I almost puked and passed out right there. She left me alone after I hit the ground in a crumpled heap.  She turned around and happily breezed up the passage chewing on the notorious crab leg she had just traumatized me with.  I saw RED, before I realized what I was doing I flung the knife towards her. Of course, not the greatest person at flinging stuff in the proper direction, the knife hit the (freshly painted) passage wall and fell at her feet.  She turned around shocked, mouth open, gasping.  I had dared to retaliate against her.  I was proud of myself! 

She started walking towards me, I quickly locked myself in the toilet before she could get to me. I came out a few minutes later cautiously.  She was busy cleaning the butter and jam off the wall, crab leg still in her mouth.  I looked at her sadly, ‘Stop feeling sorry for yourself!’

Throughout the years as we grew into adults, we grew closer, we fought, we made up, she helped me through some of the roughest periods of my life. I can tell her anything – I don’t even have to do much explaining, she knows exactly what I am feeling – she knows me that well.