Across many cultures, monogamy goes hand-in-hand with most marriages. You sacrifice temptation in exchange for a lifetime of loyalty, or at least the illusion of loyalty. For those devoutly religious, it is especially about avoiding punishment in the afterlife.
In modern times, most marriages will end up in divorce or disarray. There is no guarantee that your partner won’t just cheat on you while running errands, meanwhile your sex life dwindles away.
On the other hand, if you are married to your life partner and best friend, is there any harm in openly having sex outside the confines of marriage?
Jealousy & Paranoia
Jealously and strictly monogamous relationships go hand-in-hand, especially if a partner has been cheated on before. This leads to arguments, closely monitoring social media or even prohibition of making friends with the opposite sex. In fact, you’ve probably seen lots of scary cases on television where partners are killed over mere suspicions of cheating.
While in an open relationship, everything is out on the table and may be discussed. There is no more tension since you know what each other are doing, and you both may dive into it together.
No More Deal-breakers in Marriage
Perceivably, one act of infidelity is enough to file for a divorce and potentially separate families. This is why married couples are likely to keep their fantasies as deep, dark secrets until they may get out of hand.
If one does choose to explore outside of the relationship, it will likely be with a friend or co-worker and kept a secret. Even worse, those that impulsively cheat are less likely to use protection, increasing the chance of an STD surprise for their partner.
As for breaking emotional bonds through extramarital sex, treating it as recreation instead of betrayal may make your relationship healthier. In fact, there is concrete data showing that open couples have longer and happier marriages, especially for individuals that had multiple partners prior to engagement.
Living as Swingers
Choosing to be in an open relationship doesn’t mean having one-night stands with random people from dating apps. In fact, that is probably the most dangerous way to go about things, which is why swingers’ groups are a popular outlet for married couples.
Swingers’ groups may offer an element of surprise or long-term bonds, depending on what you are looking for. Many groups will also have stringent screening processes to weed out single men and to find like-minded people.
For swingers that keep things on the down-low, couples may use swinging symbols and signs that only people within the community would recognize. This would especially be useful for those living in ultra-religious communities to avoid stigmatization.
Of course, not every married couple should become swingers, but it shouldn’t be completely off the table either. With open discussions about extramarital sexual fantasies, it could lead to less heartbreak and safer sexual practices. Unless a couple has strict religious restrictions, there is no real harm in giving it a try if done safely.