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April 8, 2019

Life Coaching – friend or faux?

Oh no, not another life coach. Run!! It seems like everyone is claiming to be a life coach these days. Just because you’re a fill in the blank (yoga teacher, trainer, doctor) doesn’t mean you should be giving life mastery advice. Ain’t that the truth?! Usually, I can either see excitement or eyes rolling when I tell people what I do for a living. Yes, I’m a transformational and spiritual life coach, mentor and friend. I say this proudly!!

Look I can’t blame you. There’s cause for concern with this field. For one, it’s not accredited nor is it regulated. Anyone can call themselves a life coach and that’s a bit scary. It’s true that this form of life learning is cutting edge material for a new way of thinking, being and living, just like therapy was in the 70’s. I believe transformation is the new way to great health. Your thoughts create your feelings. Your feelings create your actions. Your actions create your results. So it goes back to what you are feeding your mind. In fact, it is my greatest wish they begin to teach this in schools but more than likely it’s adults who need the help and oftentimes don’t know where or who to turn to.

Life coaching can certainly be an effective way to help you navigate through life, absolutely. It helps a person move past their issues once and for all in order to live a more dynamic and fulfilled life. However, if met with the wrong person, it can truly damage a person emotionally and financially who is sincerely trying to get help. I’ve seen both and I felt called to share a few tips on how to know you’re dealing with a good coach/mentor!


  1. You want someone who knows how results occur. This means someone who has put in the time, effort and energy to study with a premier training academy or institute. I recently came across an ad to become a life coach for $300! OMG. NO! Find out where the person studied, ask questions, do your research and mostly trust your intuition.


  1. You want someone who has a long track record for producing results. Make sure this coach is doing their inner work because ultimately they are helping you work through your issues. There are life coaches out there who are young or new to the work, yes be mindful of this. It doesn’t mean they don’t know their stuff, but do pay attention to their story and how they changed their own life. A great life coach will share their vulnerability, how they have helped themselves and how they have received support. I’ll use myself as an example so you can get an idea of what this means. I have been in deep healing for 18 years, I have healed a number of things including mental illness (Borderline Personality Disorder), depression, anxiety, sexual abuse, PTSD, domestic abuse to name a few. I have dedicated my life to keep going deeper as I help others navigate their path. In other words, I walk the walk. I will be the first to admit the inner work is challenging but it is so fulfilling. That’s how I knew this was my purpose, plus I stay in study and am consistently learning new tools and investing in the the best teachers around the world.


  1. You want someone who you can feel their caring, care about you and your results. Sadly there are some bad apples in the bunch, but you don’t have to be that person who feels “fooled” as a now client previously said about another coach before working with me. A true coach and mentor will feel more like a friend. It’s heart centered. It doesn’t become about money. They give their time freely before even considering the investment. A great coach works in integrity, love and care. I had this experience prior to finding my mentors and I was not only turned off by their institute but the fact that I didn’t feel seen or heard. When I met my mentor, I felt held and loved. That’s how I knew I would be in good hands.


When you’re working with a mentor or coach remember that it’s not perfect all the time. Sometimes there are misunderstandings, I mean this is an intimate relationship after all. Coaches are still human, but a good coach and mentor will always work to make it right so you feel heard, seen and loved.

You’ll also likely make a decent investment in coaching with someone and this is normal. Most coaches I know have invested tens of thousands yearly in their mentors and the quality ones will be worth the investment. I’ve seen a range from $1800 to $10,000+. Try not to think of it as you’re paying someone but rather you are investing in yourself with the support of an amazing and caring mentor who will help provide you with the results you are seeking and yes you are worth it. You will learn so much more about yourself.

There you have it. I hope you found value in this article and if you are curious about getting into a structure of support, now you know the best way to approach it!


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Denise Michelle Waling  |  Contribution: 1,375