Death is never pretty! Whether you have lost someone close and dear to you or a complete stranger passed away people can’t help and feel helpless and disappointed over a loss of human life. Funerals are never fun, not even for a second.

Unfortunately for me, I have attended my fair share of funerals whether I wanted or not. Some of them were dear and closer people. Some of them were people I barely knew. But every time I couldn’t help feel sad and distraught over a loss of yet another soul.

Being employed in a funeral related business wasn’t of great help either. During my time there I also heard a lot of stories and faced various sad faces that came to buy flowers for their dearly departed. You can read everything on their faces. The pain, the suffering; it is unbearable to watch. And yet you somehow have to do it and be professional.

I combined the experience of others with my own and came to a few conclusions. The loss of life is a sad thing, but we all need to cope with it. Whether someone died after a long illness or somebody was loss unexpectedly in an accident, we still need to cope and move on. Each and every one of those situations thought me a valuable lesson and enabled me to see funerals in a completely different way. Life lessons can still be learned from this and often you can come out wiser than you came in.

It is About You and The Person Who Died

As I have come to learn, people often mistake the fact that funerals are only about the person who has died. I am not saying that funerals are meant for the living nor am I saying that they serve as a way to the deceased. What I am saying is that it can be both.

First of all, funerals are a way of saying goodbye to the person who has met his or her untimely demise. We are there to say our last goodbye to them and we are there to celebrate their life and not their death. It is a valuable piece of knowledge that you have to remember when going to these events.

But, as much it is about the person who has died it is also for the people who are living. The people who are the closest feel the most amount of sadness. But you shouldn’t see it as the end of the world as your life is still worth living. You should cherish the moment and remember the best things about the person who has left us and at the same time promise that you will continue on living as best as you can without that person.

Celebrating Life, Not Death

I came to the realization that we do not celebrate death at a funeral. First of all, some people would not even use the word “celebration” with a funeral in the same sentences. But I see it the other way. We are not there to celebrate the death of the deceased, we are there to celebrate their lives.

When we come to give our respects and say our last goodbye, we are there because we respect that person. It is a time when we only remember the good things about them. We are there to forgive all the bad things that happened between us. Some people feel at peace as they are there out of respect not out of hatred.

I am not saying that we need to be cheerful at a funeral. I am saying that we need to be respectful. Sometimes there are things at work much greater than us pulling the strings. We need to give respect and remember only the good things about the person.

Learn to Forgive

Whatever quarrels you had, whatever misunderstandings happened in the past, any debts that need their due, everything should be forgotten. It is always best to say goodbye on a positive note. Live and let die, learn to forgive and show your final respect in peace.

Once again, the dead should be respected and so should you learn to be respectful. If something bad happened between you and the deceased a funeral is a way to let them know that you do not hold a grudge. Find happiness in your heart and learn to forgive. You don’t have to say it out loud you just have to show it and hold peace in your heart.

You Shouldn’t Blame Yourself

When a loved one passes away, people who are living start blaming yourself. That is a deep rabbit hole that you should not venture down into. Because that hole will only turn into a sinkhole and will eventually end up eating you. What’s done is done and you should learn to go on.

In most situations, there is nothing that you could have done. Blaming it on yourself will only leave you restless and you might end up never being able to forgive yourself and never being able to move on. The past is the past and we cannot change it. We need to focus on the present and learn to keep trudging on without the person we have lost.

I cannot really say that these lines will make sense to many. They do make sense to me and it has helped me continue with my life after all these misfortune events. I hope that these lines will also help other people realize and allow them to learn something that funerals have thought me.