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May 30, 2019

A Morning Letting Go Ritual.

 

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Every morning, I wake up.

And then I just let go.

I let go of the day before. Finally. It takes my slumber to do so.

And I let go of tomorrow too. Preemptively.

I look at what’s directly in front, that moment, those minutes.

That (and only that) is what helps me out of bed.

I let go of my quest for perfection.

To look perfect, and be perfect, and behave perfectly, and speak perfectly, and love perfectly.

Love is not perfect, so I let it go.

I vow to love as best I can.

I let go of expectations—the ones I have for myself, and the ones I have for you.

I let go of judgments—those I harbor within myself, for myself, and those I harbor for you.

Judgments and expectations do not serve my spirit. Or yours for that matter.

I let go of impatience.

Impatience is such a selfish thing.

And I let go of some of my lofty, faraway goals.

Goals are good, but if they are unidentifiable because of their distance from me, if they are merely elusive, cloudy dreams, I simply let them float away.

I let go of blame.

Blame is a selfish thing too.

I try like hell to let go of my insecurities. There are many, so this takes time.

And I try like hell to let go of my resentments. There are some, and they are poison.

Resentments are sour pickles, left in the fridge too long.

I breathe out my tears, exhale my fears, and I let go of all my “past history” years.

Regrets are filled with pining, sorrow, and I will not hold space for them in my heart or head.

I try really hard to let go of pain—the stuff I carry around. The heavy, life-sapping, exhausting stuff. I let go of my basket full of wiggling, blood-sucking worms.

I let it go, I watch as it dissolves into nothing, right into the day—and that nothing becomes something that no longer hurts me in any way.

I let go of all the advice, and all the self-improvement platitudes. All the well-intended words.

Words become dust in the wind. I send those words right down the river to fill up the sea.

It is action, not words that has always set me free.

I let go of the need to be everything to everyone all the time.

I let go of my need to feel needed.

Every morning, I wake up, and then I just let go.

And I just am. I let myself be.

And that’s when I feel the most powerful.

Filled with fire and a freshness fierce.

Filled to the brim with promise and mindful presence.

I am unknown, to myself, to you, and I am an adventurer.

I am a listener, a seeker.

I eat some prayers for breakfast, and I sip on a warm cup of ideas.

I act on impulse, which is the opposite of my nature.

I am careful, but I do not hesitate.

Miraculously, that seems to open doors.

Doors to life. My life.

My beating, seeping, divine, and ever-creeping,

One and only life.

The moment in front is all I ever need.

~

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author: Kimberly Valzania

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