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May 28, 2019

Empaths – Protecting Yourself From Toxic Relationships & Psychic Vampires.

‘Psychic vampires’ may sound like something out of a bad horror movie, but they actually exist and they don’t necessarily have sharp teeth, drink blood, and sleep in coffins. In real life, they’re much harder to spot than your typical Lestat doppelganger.

Ever spent time with someone where you just feel emotionally wiped when you’re done? Psychic vampires are those folks. They could be under the radar manipulative, negative, blatant or some combination. They steal the spotlight – your spotlight – and they feed off of your energy, goodwill, positivity, you name it. Instead of blood, they want your life force, your energy, your talents and your attention. Sound creepy and weird?  They’re all around us, and the chances you have one in your life right now are pretty high.

With all this in mind, how can you spot them and protect yourself once one has found you?

My psychic vampire manifested as a very close friend who fed off my self-confidence. I realized much later (like 15 years later) that it likely boiled down to the fact that she was very insecure. It took me many, many more dramatic and exhausting years to remove her from my life, but in going through that experience, I am so much better equipped to avoid das vampires in the future.

Look at negative energy as a poison and positive as a healing salve.

In this respect, you would try to rid yourself of the former and fill up on the latter, correct? What happens when you only know how to create more poison? You may look to someone who seems to produce an effortless flow of happiness or positive energy to fill your void – or at least to dump all your baggage on them so you can refill with good stuff.

The basic definitions on extraversion vs. introversion, based on Carl Jung’s theory, center around the concept of personal energy – extroverts load up on the energy buffet provided by others. Like bottomless bacon, the more they get, the better they feel.

A psychic vampire is very much an extreme version of the extrovert.

On the flip side, introverts need to recharge their batteries after being around a lot of noise and people. I don’t know about you, but even after a family dinner (and I’m lucky to have a pretty chill group), I will freeze my husband with one look if he busts into my room where I’m silently recovering. I have nothing left, I gave it all away.

Empaths take it one step further – they can actually feel what others are feeling – these are highly sensitive people who feel their emotions and the emotions of others very intensely. These can be like the extreme version of the introvert.

How to Spot a Psychic Vampire – and Are You One?

We’re all capable of being psychic vampires. If there is some kind of psychological damage done to us in childhood – such as abuse or neglect – we may be susceptible to becoming psychic vampires as we seek love and attention from others as we grow older, but in unhealthy ways. If we have been hurt or traumatized by a lover, friend or situation, again we may be prone to becoming a psychic vampire.

If a person who exhibits qualities of psychic vampirism does not take a long, honest look at themselves and work to combat it, they will go through life draining others of energy and creating other psychic vampires due to the damage they cause to others – hence the term ‘vampire’.

So, who are they? Often, the psychic vampire will play upon people’s compassion and empathy with a variety of sad stories and tragic tales. Being a psychic vampire is all about control – they control the other’s emotions, they control how much of that emotion they feed off and they control the dynamic between the two of them, using manipulation as a primary weapon. It sounds very twisted and evil, but the reality is that most psychic vampires don’t even realize what they are doing.

Psychic vampirism is often a product of mistreatment in some form or another, which is indeed something that deserves sympathy. The problem is that the psychic vampire will use this sympathy against you. Hence, they are very attracted to empaths in particular who are almost like a fairground ride to them, providing a non-stop supply of empathy and compassion for them to feed on.

If you find yourself offering loads of kindness and compassion to someone, but are left feeling incredibly drained, used or taken advantage of, not to mention a feeling you can’t shake off that something just isn’t right, then chances are you’re dealing with a psychic vampire.

How to Protect Yourself from Psychic Vampires

Set firm boundaries.

The only way to stop a psychic vampire is to cut off their food supply. This may seem harsh – one thing that empaths in particular have trouble doing is saying “no” to people or walking away. The thought of abandoning someone who is suffering is unthinkable to them. That’s where they get you though – they know that. It’s not hard to pull you back in.

With this in mind,  it’s important to think of yourself, too! To show kindness and compassion to yourself, as well as others. Self-love is the only way to combat psychic vampirism. It is the only weapon that can annihilate this terrible, destructive form of ego. If the psychic vampire loved themselves, they would not feel a need to drain others and damage them in the process.

Similarly, if you love yourself, then don’t allow anyone to take advantage of you. Make your position firm and clear. It may be hard at first, but in the long-run, it is the kindest thing to do.

If you still feel bad about it, consider how much more energy you’ll have to help everyone else if you stop giving it to the vampires of the world. It doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk or tell them off, but it might mean you stop spending so much time together – and maybe have a tough conversation about why you are withdrawing your presence.

To have compassion or empathy manipulated or twisted in some way is the fastest way to damage a kind and pure heart. This cycle can only be broken with boundaries.

Protect yourself.

If you have done everything you can for the psychic vampire and they continue to feed off you, then it’s time to put yourself first. The psychic vampire must learn self-love; they cannot learn this if they have an unlimited supply of ‘love’ from others which serves only to feed the monstrous ego, not their struggling soul.

Knowing when to say, ‘no,’ and walk away may be the most empowering thing you ever do for yourself.

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