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Do you feel weighed down by fear?
Do you find you’re stopping yourself from daydreaming because that little voice in your head is constantly reminding you that those dreams are not possible?
Our whole lives we are taught to fit in, blend in, follow the crowd, join the machine, forget your passions, forget your dreams, grow up, be realistic.
But ask yourself this: if others are out there living their dreams, standing strong through challenges, living boldly, deeply connecting with people, and feeling like their voice and work matters in the world, then why can’t you?
Be honest with yourself. If you stay on the path that you are on, will you regret it later down the road, or are you ready for some changes? Are you ready to embrace your dreams and share your gifts with the world in order to live your vision of a fulfilled and successful life?
It doesn’t matter where you are or how you feel about yourself, your possibilities, opportunities, or worthiness for living your dream life—you can reshape your thoughts and beliefs to support your dreams now. You can learn to get through fear, face the challenges that are standing in your way, become resilient, and move forward with actions that will take you on a magical journey so you can look back on with pride and thankfulness in your last days.
You just have to learn to dive into and trust the process.
Oh yeah, okay sure. People say this all the time—but what does that even mean? If you’re asking that question, keep reading.
I’ve studied “the process” in my own life and in the lives of others. I’ll start with my story and how the process changed my life.
Not that long ago, I felt stuck. I was working in a career I didn’t love. I was cycling in and out of relationships that weren’t good for me or my partners. I felt like I didn’t have time for me. I was looking outside of myself for fulfillment, clawing at anything that seemed like the right thing to do. I was lost for answers and felt overwhelmed and hopeless. I kept saying, one day down the road I’ll make changes. When I have more money. When I have a house. When I have a stable family.
But then the universe smacked me on the head and woke me up.
My dad had a health scare, and I thought he was going to die. It made me question what I wanted to do with my one precious life.
I wanted to build a career that I loved and make a difference in the world. I wanted to have the freedom to travel for pleasure and to see my family often, to have relationships that we’re meaningful, to live in a town with community and nature and fun, not wherever my job demanded I be. I wanted to live. I wanted to make choices based on love, not fear.
So, within a week, I quit my job (bye!!), I got broken up with (he didn’t believe in my dreams, WTF), and I moved back home (okay—let’s do this). Talk about letting go.
I cleared out everything that wasn’t serving me or others (heads up—those are the same things!) and made a sh*t ton of space to rebuild my career, my relationships, my home, and most importantly, myself.
Within a year, I built a life that I truly loved. Seriously, I love my life.
I wake up every morning and spend the first hour or more of my day in meditation, journaling, and reading. I teach people all around the world to do the internal work that will support their dream life, I have meaningful friendships with women who are badass powerhouses, I have a partner who checked off 29 out of 30 of my ideal partner traits (he’s not handy, but he said he just pays people to be handy for him, so I guess that counts).
I’m the closest to my family that I’ve ever been, I’ve traveled to about 20 countries, I have plenty of free time for self-care and fun.
I still face challenges, for sure. Maybe even more challenges than I used to, but I’ve developed a resilience and courage to face things that would make the old pre-process Melissa hyperventilate and lock herself in a bathroom (I used to do that a lot). Life really is a joy. And this joyride ain’t slowing down anytime soon.
So, I get you. Now, let’s get you moving forward into a joyride all your own.
It starts with you taking responsibility in your life and doing the internal work. Your external reality will rise up to meet the inner being that you have released from its cage.
So, what is the internal work? Well here’s the process (omg finally!):
I’ve broken it down into 9 steps:
Read the steps, but be warned: you must apply these in your life and do the practices that will help you embody this information. That means meditation, journaling, lots of self-reflection, affirmations, and whatever else floats your boat to really get this goodness into your brain, heart, soul, and body.
Step 1: Let go.
Letting go creates space for worthiness to come in. Experiences, material possessions, and relationships that are no longer serving us can be heavy. We have to let them go to literally clear up energy, time, and resources that can be used for your highest good and the highest good of others. Forgiveness here is key.
Write down what’s holding you back—those limiting beliefs and fears—give yourself space to feel them, and then send them love and forgiveness.
Step 2: Own your enoughness.
We all have an innate enoughness. We knew this as children, but lost that feeling through conditioning from our parents and society. We are enough through the fears, through the insecurities, through the challenges, through the screwups, through everything. To love ourselves fully, we must love every piece of ourselves.
We can connect back to this enoughness by spending time in stillness, in nature, and nourishing our gifts.
Step 3: Soak up the appreciation.
Appreciation is consciously cultivating a lens of love through which we look, which then improves how we see ourselves, others, and the world. Life is precious, not promised. Life itself should be appreciated every day. We have all lost people we know and loved. That alone should be a driving factor to be present and loving in the lives of others and our own lives.
Gratitude lists ya’ll. They work.
Step 4: Be receptive.
Be open to receive guidance, support, energy, love, resources, and kindness from others, nature, and the universe. There is so much out there that is available to support you, but you have to feel open to it to receive it. Receptivity and trust go hand in hand. Evidence builds confidence.
When you start being open to opportunities, guidance, support, or whatever it is you are inviting in, you will gain confidence in the universe’s support of you and your heart-led path.
Practice receiving, whether that be through accepting compliments, gifts, or opportunities. Bonus! Practicing receiving makes you a better giver, too. Gotta have that cup filled to fill others.
Step 5: Connect to your “why.”
When we know our why, it is much easier to keep going when things get hard. Our why’s are usually similar to each other’s, but a little different based on our experiences. We want to love and feel loved. We want companionship. We want shelter. We want connection and adventure. We want fun.
Connecting to you ever-evolving why again and again will be the fire that keeps you motivated, resilient, and determined. Get clear on your why and connect back to it, always.
Step 6: Expand.
It’s time to stop playing small. To do that, you have to see the bigness that is possible for you. To see that, you have to look at those who are doing what you want to do. You also have to make space for the inspiration. Spend time in nature. Meditate. Connect to your creativity. Get quiet.
Let the ideas have space to flow into you. Surround yourself with those who are doing what you want to do. Read books. Listen to podcasts. Take classes. Seek out mentors.
Step 7: Let yourself dream.
Allow yourself to dream big, daydream, and think of the unlimited possibilities. If you don’t allow yourself to dream it, it will never come to you.
So, let go, let the ideas flow to you. Don’t hold back. Don’t restrict yourself. Don’t believe the fears that are saying you can’t. You can. You just have to choose it for yourself first, over and over.
Step 8: Retrain your words, thoughts, and beliefs.
Beliefs are just thoughts that we think a lot. Our words are a direct reflection of our thoughts. Through mindfulness and self-awareness, we can slow down enough to catch our words and thoughts, decide if they’re accurate or just our pattern, and reform them into something supportive.
In this way, we can learn to believe in ourselves and our dreams.
Step 9: Take aligned action.
Take big dreams and desires and break them into bite-sized chunks. An example of this is writing an entire book. You don’t have to write the whole thing in one day, plus making the cover, plus writing your bio, plus getting it published, plus, plus, plus. You can take it one page at a time, one word at a time.
It’ll come together that way—all dreams do. So, take the actions that are next. Don’t worry about how it will all come together. Just trust that it will.
I’ve seen people make huge changes in their lives in my course by following these steps and doing the work to embody them.
Start this process in your own life and see the changes that come for you.
I believe in you. Just remember you have to believe in yourself first. Now go out there and make it happen.