July 2, 2019

We need to Rethink Casual Sex. {TED Talk}


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It’s the 21st century, and most folks still believe women aren’t built for casual sex.

I’ve found that this is an idea that permeates through every type of demographic—liberal or conservative, male or female, rich or poor.

While certainly not all women are inclined to have casual sex, I tend to challenge the idea that we’re only biologically programmed for rom-com-style, wildly committed sex.

This notion can also result in a great deal of shaming, as women who do enjoy casual sex are often judged or assumed to have “daddy issues,” be filling an emotional hole, or seeking attention.

Terri Conley is a social psychologist and professor of psychology at University of Michigan. Her primary research focuses are gender, sexuality, and monogamy (or lack thereof). She too challenges the notion that men are built for casual sex and women are not.

Her TED Talk explores this concept, and also busts two other common myths about sex and sexuality:

author: Kelsey Michal

Image: No Strings Attached (2011)

Image: @elephantjournal on Instagram

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raqueltandug Jul 20, 2019 8:38pm

What about attachment issues? She didn’t mention that women feel more attached to men after having sex (casual or not) than men do with women after casual sex. Another reason why women avoid casual sex is that they feel more attached to men they had casual sex with than the men with them. Which leads to self esteem issues and women feeling used.

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Kelsey Michal

Kelsey Michal grew up in Oregon, leaving her with a particular fondness for the mountains and greenery of the Pacific Northwest. She is an avid hiker, runner, dancer, yoga practitioner, writer, baker, musician, and cook. Kelsey is currently an Elephant Editor, freelance writer, and yoga instructor. Find her on her website, Instagram, or Facebook.