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August 31, 2019

How Reflections Change- A Journey of Self-Love

She looks in the mirror, skin still damp from her shower. As she makes eye contact with herself she realizes how far she has come. She scans her entire body, her soft skin, tattoos covering portions of her skin and she smiles at the joy they bring her, the chapters in her life they represent. She makes her way down to her breasts, and thinks back to all the things they represent; her pubescent years as her beliefs system started to form and all the things society told her that her figure should be, her child calmly sucking on her nipples as they expressed sustenance to her newborn, how different they looked then and how different they look now, and a tear rolls down her cheek. As her gaze lowers to her stomach she grazes her hand over the stretch marks that now cover her once tight and toned skin, skin that had stretched to the point of tearing as her children formed inside of her, stretch marks that once made her scared to look at herself, stretch marks that once brought so much insecurity, shame, and embarrassment, and now they represent the strength that she has within her, no longer does she see them as something to hide or worse apologize to forgotten lovers for. Now she proudly displays them, she loves each and every one of them and what they mean to her. As she stares at herself in the mirror, completely in love with her beauty, she breaths in and feels her body tingle. This is what it means to love yourself.


Have you ever been told to that you just need to love yourself more? What does that even mean and how do you get there? It took me years to realize the importance of self-love and what exactly that means and honestly, it didn’t need to be that hard, I just needed more information. I needed to know that self-love is as simple as showing yourself compassion and as complex as the cosmos pushing your dream life towards you.


Self-love is a mindset, a place where you value your own mind and body as much or more than you do anyone else’s. You speak positively to yourself, you comfort yourself, meet all of your needs and work toward your desires. It is a place of safety, comfort and peace and a feeling that is out of this world!.


When self-love encompasses your being you start to attract magic into your life. You see beauty in everything around you. You feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude, people radiate toward you and you start to manifest your dreams. It is a feeling of pure bliss and security. It is a warm home for your soul.


But how do you get there? Self-love is a state of mind before anything else, so to achieve it, you need to program your mind to believe it. There are many tools that will help you to develop a love for yourself and they aren’t time-consuming or complicated.


Accept All Parts of Yourself


Self-love is unconditional. It means you acknowledge, accept and love on all parts of yourself; the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the messy, the clean, the lying on the floor crying and the all put together. When I see “less desirable” parts of myself come to surface I simply acknowledge them, with no judgment, only love and compassion and I choose something different. For example, when my jealousy comes up I observe it, I reflect on why it is coming up, journal it out if I have time and then CHOOSE inner peace. After all we always get to choose how we feel.




I start my mornings off by writing in my gratitude journal. I write 2 pages of things I am grateful for each day. When we are grateful for what we have, we start to attract more of what we want. When we start to notice all the positive in our life and appreciate it. We attract more positivity.


Positive Affirmations

Next, I write and recite positive affirmations. I write down between 10 and 20 but you can write whatever feels comfortable for you. By stating positive affirmations every day we are planting seeds for those thoughts to grow and expand. With time, we become those thoughts.


“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha


Here are my favorite three.


  • I believe in myself and my abilities
  • I am deeply and profoundly beautiful
  • I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring.



I meditate every morning and sometimes in the evening. Meditating allows our mind and spirit to connect, rejuvenate, and help us get more in-tune with our spirit. It helps clear Our minds for the day and focus on our intentions. It allows our minds a much-needed break, it can even help reduce stress and anxiety.


Positive Self-Talk

I am conscious of my thoughts and language. I speak to myself and everyone around me in a positive and uplifting manner, I take care of my needs by communicating effectively, and I show myself compassion when I make mistakes. Simple mantras like, “I am good enough. I am worthy. It’s okay things can happen,” Can quickly replace negative thoughts. Having a positive self-image will boost our confidence and strengthen our mindset.


Positive Surrounding

I surround myself with as much positivity as I can. I listen to uplifting music that makes me want to dance. I read self-help books, I surround myself with positive and uplifting people. This helps me stay in check if I start to feel weak and helps guide me in the right direction. Think about how you feel when you are around a positive person rather than a negative one? When we choose to surround yourself with positivity we attract more positivity into our lives.


Self-love doesn’t come overnight, but with mindful practice, it can transform us, it’s time to stop waiting for someone else to love us and start loving ourselves. By taking small simple steps self-love will become a part of you and you will step into greatness. Fill your heart with gratitude, recite positive affirmations daily, take the time to meditate, show yourself compassion, and surround yourself with positivity. Take these simple steps and you will finally realize how sweet it feels to love yourself!


Until then, smile bright, love fully, and know you ARE ENOUGH!


Nikyla Maria

Photo Credit: Emiliano Vittoriosi



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