Our past only taints our future if we do not change our behaviour.
Your past is only lessons, proof of growth, proof of life. Mistakes are inevitable in life, and yet when you’re in the thick of it, it can feel like the end. It can feel as if nothing can shake the smell of regret off of you, no amount of water could soak you clean.
The truth is, you don’t need to be shook, nor do you need to be soaked, all that is required of you is to learn. Learn from the things that hurt you, the things that hurt others, and reevaluate the way you live. Step by step, that’s all we’re doing here on Earth—learning, evolving into better humans.
Next time that feeling takes hold of your ankles, and starts wrapping itself around your legs, remember this is your purpose: to make mistakes, feel the feelings, change your patterns, and evolve. Vulnerability is a superpower.
I have felt this feeling many times in my life, and in the beginning, it seems impossible to turn it into a positive. I wrote this poem as a reminder for myself that this feeling will pass. All will be forgiven, and after, I will rise having learned something new. I hope it gives you the strength to have compassion for yourself in these times too.
My words are unsure,
Like rocks tiptoeing across the river
They walk up to the line of what I know,
And who I am
I hover here and ask myself completely,
How can I pursue this feeling and still make a whole?
To attain my momentum
To continue to move forward
Without being ruled by a theory dredged up from history
With an inside puncture, I am held back
like floodwaters, the suction, and pressure
on my skin is enormous, much like the pull
to let go and wash away, to just be dragged
over the lipped edge,
It is less out of habit
And more out of intent
But rest assured. My strength outweighs
the descent. I will rise from this
Full to the brim with heavy reflection
I will rise
With pristine clarity
And a newly won security.