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October 14, 2019

Ayurveda, No Bullsh*t Fad. {Poem 2}

Ayurveda, sister science of yoga, an ancient Indian medicinal practice.

A few thousand years in the making, yet no one around seems to know of it.

I don’t recall how I stumbled upon it, being such a strange thing as it is.

There was a store-front in Northampton, a city of diversity.

I lurked on the website for maybe a year before finally talking my wife into signing up.

She booked an abhyanga, a luxurious full body oil massage.

Damn that sounded both wonderful and terrifying as hell.

Lay naked on a table and let a strange woman douse me in oil?

Talk about having mixed emotions on that thought.

But they also have this thing called a cleanse, and you see, I was too scared to check it out.

It sounded like some voodoo witch doctor sh*t to me.

So I asked my wife to inquire, sad as that may seem.

She signed up for the fall cleanse, went to a class, and we split the supplies in two.

I studied the guide, and became intrigued by the chance of adding years to my life.

Trusting that a practice of a few thousand years wasn’t a bullsh*t fad,

We gave it a shot, and holy crap it worked.

Mind you though, it was no easy feat, gulping warm ghee and choking down 15 meals of kitchari.

The worst was the purge on the sixth day, caused by a gut-wrenching dose of castor oil.

Alas, we glowed after that long week had passed, not getting ill once that winter.

Simply amazing.

Did I want to do it again the next spring? Hell yeah!

But please lord let me eat something other than kitchari.

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