Do you ever feel chained by your emotions? I do! It’s like I can’t wait to get free from them.
I noticed it more when I was younger when I cried it out after carrying it around for a period of time. The tears came and I emptied it. That was so freeing and such a wonderful feeling. Gratitude is what just naturally came into my state of being. I was naturally happy.
That feeling became my go-to, what I sought out! I sought out the release. That is still what I seek and why I do my inner work as often as I can. I love the feeling of emptying out the trash! The crap that doesn’t belong there anymore and the light feeling of letting go.
Everything is a balance and so my seeking release wasn’t always productive. I also would at times want to force it. I don’t like carrying around baggage that feels heavy and stuck. I don’t like dragging the chain around feeling. I’d rather be free. It isn’t always the right time though.
Life doesn’t always happen that way. There are times when I have to carry it around until that time it has done what it needs to do and it’s time to release it.
Do I wish I could just dump it all out at once? Yes, I do. Forcing it to release isn’t any better than forcing it to stay inside and covering it up with vices.
My choice is clearly working on myself and emptying it out when it is ready over vicing and suppressing.
Everyone has their way of it. Mine just works better for me. There is no right or wrong with it. There is only what is more productive and supportive over what isn’t beneficial to us.
The balance is what I’m seeking. That I can carry it around to learn what I need to learn from it and then when the time comes to empty it, let it out. The balance is trusting the process. It’s there when it is and when it is ready to go release it.
Balance for me isn’t forcing it either way. Allowing the uncomfortable times to be what it is and the freeing times to be what it is, bliss.
We can fake an orgasm, but it isn’t the same as if you allow it to happen. We can force a laugh, but it isn’t the same as if we allow it to happen naturally. I can’t fake letting go.
The extremes have their purpose and possibly the most joyful we can be is just to allow both the build-up and the release. Taking a breath in and then allowing it to just flow out slowly. Bliss can happen naturally. Sometimes we have to go through a little hell to get there.