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November 6, 2019

This is for the Moments when you’re Falling Deep. {Poem}

This is
for the moment.

For the moment you get up and act,
even though you’re sitting knee-deep in anxiety.
But also for the moment
when you don’t get up for days.

For the moment you speak your most vulnerable truths,
even though there’s a rock in your throat and your heart beats so fast, so heavy, that you think you’re dying.
But also for the moment
when you stay silent in your pain.

For the moment you say I love you first,
against all the odds and when there’s probably only silence afterward.
But also for the moment
when you don’t have the courage to make yourself this vulnerable.

This is
for the moment.

For when you fall and you keep falling,
and when you thought you’ve hit rock bottom,
you fall a little deeper.
Into your gut-wrenching panic.
Into your fear.
Into yourself.

This is for the moment
when no one else is there.

And you’re staring at the white candle on your windowsill,
raindrops racing down the glass,
and you realize everything’s still there:
The anxiety. The loneliness. The crippling self-doubt. The fear of losing control.

And you realize in this very moment also:
You are still here.

For the thousands of times you thought you wouldn’t make it:
You are still here.

This is for the moment
when you see deeply:
You’ve made it this far.
You can go further.
You can go deeper.
Into yourself,
into your fear,
into your crippling self-doubt.
Because if the power is within you,
that’s where you gotta’ look.

Because the truth is:
You don’t know yet if the power is waiting inside of you.
You’ll have to leap in there to see it for yourself.

Because this is for the moment
when you’re too scared to look within,
too scared to face your own heartbeat,
too scared of what darkness may lie before the light—
but you go in,
go a little deeper each time,
a little deeper with each breath.

Because this is for the moment
when you discover what you were meant to find,
when you dissolve the agony you were meant to heal,
and most importantly because this is for the moment
when you finally share your inner truth with this world
and help others along the way.

But this is also and always for the moment
when you don’t do any of this, when you feel weak and weary,

because this is for the moment
when you realize:
You’re worthy regardless.

 

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