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December 12, 2019

4 Words to help us Close Out 2019: “Let that Sh*t Go.”

The new era of consciousness is just around the corner as we look to 2020.

Yes, the cosmic age of Aquarius is finally upon us.

So in 2019, we were called upon to clean the slate and ready ourselves for a whole new way of being.

We had to let go of things that maybe we didn’t want to. The heavy baggage we carried around from the past. People, jobs, loved ones, and parts of ourselves had to be let go of—with great difficulty, perhaps. It just wasn’t going to fit in to the universal flow.

Did you notice big changes in yourself this year? That you pushed past things that held you back? For me, it almost felt like an invisible push, making what was once impossible possible.

Right now, we are being challenged to really let sh*t go. There’s been a lot of talk about healing ancestral bonds as well as dealing with our own damn wounds from childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.

Finding My Heart

This year has been an incredible journey for me. I changed in a lot of ways I never expected, and while I have appreciated the spiritual upgrade, there was one aspect of me that really grew.

You could say it was just like the story of the Grinch. My heart seemed to grow a few sizes bigger. I never put my heart on the line, ever.

All the men I’ve dated were people who kind of chased me and loved me enough to make it worth my while to stick around for a while. Once they lost interest or realized their love for me was one-sided, it would end.

I did fall in love with someone quite deeply about two years ago, but I didn’t know how to deal with it. We met in the tropics and our lives were in different places, but something about him stuck to me. I couldn’t shake him, and, with all my heart, I longed to be with him. To know him more. To make his life better because I was in it, supporting him.

I was always so selfish, and I found myself in a vulnerable spot I never expected to be in. Even though I was in love with him, I hated the vulnerable place it put me in. I was rejecting the feelings in me and keeping silent about how I felt.

We would meet up when possible, which I felt was totally pointless in many ways. He brought me great joy, but the pain afterward was so deep.

I never expressed what I wanted and how much he meant to me. It kept bringing me back to this place in my heart I was uncomfortable with. Denying the love was unhealthy for me. I tried to push him away and forget him.

Instead of telling him how I felt, I went on a destructive path for a while. I felt awful and at the end of my rope. Life wouldn’t really let me stay in that place, though. Other parts of my lifestyle and behaviors changed. This allowed me to become more centered.

I was compelled to do over 300 days of Kundalini yoga this year. I can’t even tell you why. There was just a kind of fierceness and commitment I had in me to really get past blockages and commit to something.

Connecting to Love

While I was getting stronger and taking better care of myself, there was a disconnect by the middle of the year. I was frustrated with my life and my inability to truly connect to people.

This year would change me in a million little ways, and I barely recognize the light being that I have become. I live with a new honesty and integrity I have never known. It just started to happen. I pushed through my fears so I could be the person I knew was the true me.

At just the right time, I met up with the man I’ve been in love with for the past two years and finally told him how I felt. I opened my heart about the turmoil I put myself through because I was afraid he would reject me. I showed him who I really was instead of trying to contort myself into being someone I thought he wanted me to be.

He fell in love with the true me, and, because I was so open-hearted about my love for him, our connection has grown.

Not only that, I connected to others. I listen to people when they talk to me. I try to figure out ways I can be of service. I am a shy person who has often lacked confidence, but this year I started teaching various types of yoga and doing Reiki treatments. My love for the people around me is overpowering the fear I have always had.

Planetary Forces at Play in 2019

I have been following what is going on with universal energy the past year. The alignment of planets, stars, and retrogrades. They said that we would have to make great changes this year. That even if we wanted to stay in stagnancy, life would create circumstances that would force us far out of our comfort zone. In my own life experience, I can’t help but believe there must be something to it all.

Why Do We Need to Change?

See, the universe is nurturing us even while it challenges us. It may seem as though some of us may have been through hell and back, but when looking at the bigger picture of what’s to come, it may just be that it needed to happen.

It’s always uncomfortable to change. The ego doesn’t want it. It’s not safe. Yet, the world is changing. So must we.

We have a lot of opportunity during these next few weeks of December to shed our old ways and forge ahead with new, better ways of being. The universe is heavily supporting us to do so.

Did you know we’re ending this decade with an eclipse and also beginning the new decade with another eclipse? For those who study the planets and universal energy, they say we are being highly supported to shed the old ways and create a future full of empowerment based on our true passions in life.

Write down what you want in your future. Let it be from that place of truth you found in yourself this year. You know who you are, and now look at what you want.

Celebrate Yourself for the Hard Work You Did This Year

All of this change within you is happening whether you made a conscious choice for change. It’s likely that most of you have learned a lot about yourself and experienced some major shifts in 2019. If life was uncomfortable, it’s because you were trying to resist the changes that needed to occur for you to truly be in this incredible Aquarian Age.

We are being asked to acknowledge and accept who we really are and step into our personal power. Yes, it takes courage—but living a life in truth is the highest form of existence.

So pat yourself on the back for stepping out of your comfort zone this year.

You are magnificent.

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Loraine Couturier  |  Contribution: 2,720

author: Loraine Couturier

Image: Carol Oliver / Unsplash

Editor: Kelsey Michal