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Oh, the 31st of December.
Do you find yourself thinking back to the feeling you had as the clock approached midnight?
It feels like only moments ago, yet do you already feel the weight landing on top of you? Do you wonder how the lightness you felt permeating through every cell of your being disappeared so soon?
Yeah, me too.
2019 was an intense year—in the best of ways and equally, or if not outmatched, in the hardest of ways. With the new year looming, I cannot help but believe that nearly every last morsel of the people, situations, and beliefs that no longer served me boiled up to the top for a huge, anxiety-provoking release.
It was intense, uncomfortable, and challenging, yet I surrendered. And then there was calm. As 2020 rolled in, I felt a beautiful acceptance for the continuation of what is, along with a balanced and clear feeling of hope, peace, and light.
Then, the second day of the year came around and poof, it was if I was awoken from the dream. To experience this so soon was disheartening. Confronted with going back to work, getting back into family routines, taking care of and facing the challenges that existed before the holiday break, and hearing an overwhelming number of stories of suffering, both near and far, which I felt so deeply.
Can you relate?
A tinge of hopelessness began to sweep into view today and, in that moment, I decided to put fingers to keyboard and consider a conscious alternative way to move forward; a way that embodies personal empowerment mixed with love and care.
Below I lay out my three intentions, which I hope will help you too. These are not meant to be New Year’s resolutions.
These are instead meant to serve as a path forward from outdated and non-serving chains of the past.
1. Pain is not supported with more pain.
I am a deep feeling intuitive being. When you are in pain, I see it and then I feel it—deeply. In the past, I have often gone as far as to take the pain of others on as my own. Okay, let’s be honest, I felt myself doing that today and I say, no more.
No longer will I add pain onto pain hoping that it in some way helps. It is unhelpful, non-serving, and damaging. When the ears hear the words of suffering or the eyes read about it, it is time to turn on the light in our hearts instead of our brain.
Without judgment, watch old thought patterns run through and with intention, let them go. You may need to do this over and over again for some time and that is okay. This is the process of rewiring.
Once you have done so, take one hand to the center of your heart and feel the light within it, no matter how dim. Watch that light and allow it to expand in all directions, filling you up and moving ever outward toward whichever direction, person, or situation you choose.
This is absolutely about filling our own cup first and knowing that when we do so, we have more than enough to share.
2. Direct communication is best.
Boy oh boy, did I finally learn this the hard way last week when I was trying to be genuinely helpful to someone who was taking full and inappropriate advantage of me. Their intentions were not clear and although my intuition was telling me that something was off, I was trying to slowly feel out the situation rather than to potentially make them uncomfortable with direct inquiry.
As I reflect back, I see how much time I have wasted ignoring my feelings to let situations play out. I have lost precious energy as a result; given it away freely. If this resonates, let’s rewrite our programming together because no one has time (and energy) to waste. Whether you find yourself in a situation where the other is good or ill intentioned, it need not matter.
Direct communication is loving. Simply listen to your internal compass to navigate.
3. Be your own best friend.
Perhaps I have saved the best for last. This might either stir very little in you or it may make you squirm with sensations that are incredibly uncomfortable.
The idea is simply this: treat yourself as you would your best friend or someone you love dearly.
Would you wish for them to self-sabotage or bring any pain upon themselves? If one remains conscious of this moment to moment, before they know it, they will be eating, sleeping, thinking, feeling, and living better than before with a renewed sense of worth, purpose, and drive to shine a brighter light than perhaps is imaginable.