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January 19, 2020

Pain

Pain. I don’t like pain. Actually I would usually run away from it! I would watch a movie, eat a whole vegan menu in a restaurant, go shopping, change country if necessary ( yes I have done that 3 times already! ), tell myself a different version of the actual Truth and do all kinds of things just to escape the pain. The mind is clever and knows millions of ways to numb out and detach from unpleasant feelings. The world also kindly offers several convenient ways to numb out with cigarettes, pills, alcohol and various drugs. As a big lover of freedom and as an independent spirit, I always stay away from those temptations as my soul rightly perceives the potential downward path into deeper covert emotional tension and an ever increasing decline into a less vital and less joyful human being. The strong practice of yoga gave me the courage to say enough to running away for so many lifetimes, enough of trying to be someone who I am not, enough of detaching from pain with distractions. It’s a good time just to face it, stay with it and deal with it. I stay in the heart and become ok with the pain of sadness, anger, fear etc. As awareness deepens, the physical connections become more intense and specific areas like my shoulders, hips and psoas start to speak up. One breath at a time I am diving deeper and I feel it. It’s not weakness but actually a key form of spiritual awakening and become whole. 

 

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