January 17, 2020

Childhood Wounds & Prince Charming: How we Try to Heal our Wounding through Romance.

Before I was an active spiritual and mindset coach, I started my own company based in the education sector.

It was through this experience, with many trials, errors, and triumphs, that I was able to reach my first personal definition of success and receive a constant stream of abundance.

I started my entrepreneurial journey back in 2013. I bought a book for $9.99 on Amazon on how to make your own website and went from there. I learned how to rank my webpage high in Google, craft great emails, and interact with clients. I poured my heart and soul into my education business. I went from zero-income months and having to get an extra job teaching at an international school to over 20,000 € figure months (consistently).

The one thing that shifted me from zero-figure months to consistent five-figure months was unblocking a super archaic limiting belief. A belief that for the strong, independent woman whom I thought I was, was blocking my birthright to abundance.

Although I loved the idea of me being a self-made, independent woman, and portrayed myself to be that way, I felt inside that there was something off. In my subconscious, I was holding onto the belief that a man would save me.

Every time something went wrong, even the slightest little thing, I couldn’t help but think how nice it would be to have a financially stable partner step in and take care of me. Whisk me away on his horse, run off into the sunset, and live happily ever after (all the while implying that this hypothetical “Prince Charming” was going to take care of me). I was attached to this idea energetically, emotionally, and financially.   

So where was this block stemming from? After some deep soul-searching (with pensive thought, reading, and journaling heart-felt responses), I realized that the issue was that I really wanted someone to save me. And this longing to be saved stemmed from my childhood.

Part of the limiting belief was societal. I grew up with the idea that you went to college, bought a house, got married, and lived happily ever after with a significant other (implying a sense of security). The other part of this limiting belief was that I grew up with a loving but mentally unstable father. He was a Vietnam veteran who suffered PTSD and was bipolar.

I grew up riding the highest highs of his manic episodes and also the lowest lows. This volatility and uncertainty caused a deep sense of not feeling safe and longing for stability and safety. I wanted my dad to protect me and take care of me, but at times (especially toward the end of his life), he could hardly take care of himself. I ranged from deep emotions such as loving him so much to also experiencing deep anger, disappointment, and abandonment (How can my supposed caretaker not take care of me? Why can’t I fully trust him and know everything will be okay?).

On an energetic, subconscious level, I wanted a partner who could provide me the safety that I never had as a child. Someone who would protect me from the world, tell me everything is going to be okay, and support me (emotionally and financially). Although I would like to tell people throughout the years that I had a great, stable childhood, I was very much lying, and probably just didn’t want to open up the wound. Just writing this article, I can feel the instability and the roots of where many of my limiting beliefs stem from.

Every child should feel safe and protected. This is in no way a victim story. Rather, an acknowledgment of who I am, where I came from, and taking my power back. Ultimately, I am my own keeper, and I had to take my own power back. I had to revisit that little girl and give her power back to her. I had to let her know that it was okay. That she is safe and that she will always be protected and taken care of.

Once she felt safe, I as an adult began to feel safe. I felt the sensation of feeling protected and taken care of and that nobody needs to fill that void (after all, the universe has my back) for me. And consequently, when I felt safe and knew that I could rely solely on me and it was completely okay to rely and trust myself, it was almost as if the floodgates to abundance opened. Good things started to line up, opportunities seemed to fall from the sky, and I started experiencing a consistent flow of abundance. And it felt really good.

It is true what they say: success is an inside job. Once I found what was causing the “save me” complex, I saw immediate differences. My volatile months from just getting by to prosperous and constant months of overflow began to happen.

I used to be a non-believer in the wounded child. But the fact is, a lot of our beliefs and stories developed in our childhood years, and revisiting them—in spite of how difficult it may be—can make all the difference.

Do the inner energetic work. You will see significant changes in your life.

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