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February 22, 2020

Taking my Power Back, One Tiny Sundress at a Time.

I wore a tiny sundress today.

No bra.

No underwear.

Just me, a tiny sundress, and a smile.

I needed to step away, get out, and recharge. So, I went to my closet and shuffled through my clothes hoping to put on something other than jeans and a tee.

There she was, deep in the back of the closet, pressed in between an old hoodie and a Halloween costume.

The dress.

Tiny sundress.

I put her on and headed out for the day. I know some people were thinking, “Oh honey, you shouldn’t be wearing that,” and that other people were thinking, “Dammnnn, you should be wearing that!”

It doesn’t matter.

Their thoughts don’t matter.

See, this dress represents something so much more to me.

I haven’t worn this tiny sundress in years.

The last time I wore this dress, I was still in my 20s. The last time I wore this dress, you made me believe I was useless. The last time I wore this dress, I was left alone in a bar filled with people I didn’t know. The last time I wore this dress, you asked me, “Are you sure you want to wear that?” The last time I wore this dress, I cried lying on the bathroom floor. I still remember the feeling of the cool tiles on my thighs. The last time I wore this dress, I felt worthless.

The tiny sundress and I have a past. A past I decided to shove in the back of my closet in between an old hoodie of shame and a Halloween costume of avoidance.

Why now? Why today? Why put on the tiny sundress today?

I needed to practice what I preach. I have been speaking about worthiness for a while now. I have been speaking about self-love for years, and yet a little bit of my power was given away. My power was nestled in between the paisley printed fabric and elastic support. My power hung onto the ruffled neckline and swayed in the hem.

I took my power back.

I wore a tiny sundress today.

No bra.

No underwear.

Just me, a tiny sundress, and a smile.

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Courtney Marie  |  Contribution: 250

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