Our friendship was a whirlwind.
The day we met was a chance encounter that we’ve always said was the universe finally throwing us together. Our friendship has been a spark that hasn’t faded, a fire that never stopped burning.
A decade of knowing her has brought me so much joy, and lessons, and love.
I forget exactly when this happened. It was years ago, by now, I’m sure. Her father said to her something along the lines of, “Don’t get married unless they treat you as well as Sarah does.”
I was the bar that was set. Her family wanted to be sure that a relationship would bring her the same care and support, encouragement and love as our friendship did. While we smirk and giggle about this sometimes, I’ve come to realize something.
She’s my bar, too.
For a long time now, I’ve known that she was the new bar that I set for other friendships. In order for someone to be at the top of my list, to be at the core of my life, they needed to show up in a friendship the way that she does. Now, I’m realizing that I want that same fire, that same ease, that same dynamic, in love.
I want the kind of love that encourages growth.
In our personal lives, my best friend and I encourage one another to heal, to see things in a new way. We encourage one another to be our fullest selves. Instead of a sense of competition in our careers, we’re there to celebrate each other’s wins, to hold each other accountable to our goals, and to validate the hard times. We break down blocks, search for new paths to our dreams, and review how far we’ve both come.
I want that kind of love, where I’m cheered for and believed in. I want the kind of love where I’m encouraged to keep going, to go further.
I want the kind of love that is supportive.
When one of us is feeling low, the other is there to remind us of our strength. When one of us is struggling, the other is there to help guide toward clarity. We’re sounding boards for each other: for ideas, for questions we’re asking, for hardships. While we offer advice and wise words, we aren’t there to fix each other—we’re there to help each other fix ourselves.
We support one another’s dreams. We’ve both had moments of doubt, and we’ve both been there to encourage the other in such times. We remind one another of our moments of glory, of our stories of manifestation, of our hard work and dedication.
I want that kind of love, where I’m guided instead of fixed when times are bad, where I’m reminded of my power. I want the kind of love that shows up when I need an ear, a shoulder, a hug. I want the kind of love that supports my dreams, my goals.
I want the kind of love that has an ease, a flow.
There have been so many times where we’ll plan a visit, but not something to do. Sometimes we’ll sit and chat, and that’s more than enough. Other times, we’ll start that way, and then head out for a small adventure.
Hiking, trying on funny hats and laughing, running out of gas on the highway, eating homemade fries in her kitchen at midnight—it doesn’t matter what we do, the feeling is the same. There is an ease when we spend time together, a flow that works with no matter what we decide to do with our time.
I want that kind of love, where it doesn’t matter what we’re doing, so long as we’re together. I want to feel that ease, that flow.
I want the kind of love that feels free.
When we’re together, we can be our truest selves. There’s no need to wear a mask, or muffle laughter, or word things delicately. There are no eggshells to step around, no fear of judgment. We can show up in hoodies and sunglasses, or dress in our very best clothes, or try something new with our style. We can laugh, nay, cackle, as loud as we want. We can be vulnerable, and open. We celebrate one another’s individuality.
I want that kind of love, where I feel free to be myself. I want the kind of love where I’m accepted for who I am, for who I grow into. I want the kind of love where I can simply be.
I want the kind of love that is unwavering.
While we grew up in the same state, we are now states away. Distance, and time between visits, hasn’t changed a thing. We always find a way to stay connected. By text, by phone. We’ve even started a podcast together, and we FaceTime weekly to record it. Time hasn’t made things fade, either. If anything, we find ways to become even stronger friends throughout the years.
Time and distance don’t matter. She’s still my person.
I want that kind of love, where we stay connected. If weeks go by without seeing one another, I want the kind of love where the fire burns brighter the next time we do. If we disagree, I want us to find a way to come back to one another. I want the kind of love where time makes things stronger, instead of stale.
I want a big love. A spark that doesn’t fade, a fire that doesn’t burn out. The kind of love where passion and independence are encouraged and valued. The kind of love that shows up, that’s supportive and caring.
I want the kind of love that’s a safe place. The kind of love where I’m adored for who I am. Where I don’t have to worry about judgement, or eggshells, or being expected to change. I want the kind of love where I can simply be.
I want that kind of love, and I know it exists, because I see it every day in my best friend.