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April 8, 2020

When I wasn’t Drinking, I thought I was Sober.

I never thought about the alcohol in my body and what it was doing when I wasn’t drinking. Why would I think about that? If I wasn’t actively drinking or hungover I was SOBER, right? Come to find out I was very wrong. Since I drank almost every single weekday and more on the weekends, my steady state blood alcohol level was elevated. It was elevated just enough to increase my anxiety, disrupt my sleep and make my brain feel foggy.

While I was drinking I did not put two and two together. I had a justification for all of those symptoms and it didn’t come close to holding my alcohol habit accountable. I just thought I was anxious all the time, which made me tired, which made my brain feel foggy. I didn’t feel all that great which made me want to drink, so that I could feel better. Rinse and Repeat.

Once I got sober the first thing I noticed was that my anxiety decreased significantly. Because my anxiety decreased so significantly, I started sleeping better. Once I started sleeping better, my brain wasn’t so foggy. Everything in my life slowed down a tiny bit and my mind became more clear and sharp. Things got more manageable for me day to day and I was able to handle life better. I was able to keep things in perspective more. I started to feel SO MUCH BETTER.

It was all tied to the alcohol I was feeding my body day in and day out. Now that I am aware of the difference, I am NEVER going back to feeling like that again. Today, I am grateful that I never have to.

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