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April 18, 2020

You Can’t Control The World, But You Can Control Your Internal Dialogue

We live in a world that is more focused on self-care and finding inner peace than ever before. Yet, it seems almost impossible to attain. The shift of our focus on these subjects is indicative of our environment.

If you watch the news, logon to social media or read the news, then everything seems awful all the time. The world around you seems to be in chaos, no wonder you are having such a hard time managing your stress to find inner peace.

There is one way you can do both.

You have no control over the world, but you do control your internal dialogue.

Have you ever convinced yourself that all of the good in your life has happened by mere chance? Did you ever stop to think that perhaps you attract positive things when you think positively? It isn’t about chance, it’s about action. Your thoughts determine your actions, which shapes your life experience.

Internal Dialogue

What is it? It’s the voice in your head, the one that narrates your life. It guides your actions, comments on the world around you, applies reasoning and logic or pushes you to overreact. Your internal dialogue influences the decisions you make, the opinions you form, what you believe, what you should do, how you should act, and so on.

This non-stop dialogue doesn’t just shape you; it shapes how you view the world. It runs on autopilot if you allow it to, but you can gain control over it. In fact, if you don’t learn how to control it you will struggle to relieve your stress levels and find inner peace.

The Link

Think about this. The muscle structure of your face allows you to smile when you feel happy. Just like the act of smiling alone can increase your happiness. Likewise, there is a link between feelings and thoughts.

If you feel down, it’s because you’ve been having negative thoughts. If you feel great, it’s because you’ve been having positive thoughts. This mostly unconscious internal dialogue is guiding you. Yet, if you switch to manual, you can take control and make your thoughts conscious.

Let me ask you this. Do you feel as though your emotions control you? Or, do you believe you have total control over them? You can probably point to both as being true. Sometimes it’s easier than other times. When your emotions are in the driver’s seat, it’s your opportunity to tap in to gain an insight into why you allow your feelings to dominate your life. When you gain this self-awareness and pay attention to what your internal dialogue is saying, you can change it.

Control It

Accept that your feelings influence your thoughts, and this influences your behavior. It’s the only thing that you can control in this world and if you want to relieve stress and find inner peace, then you have to learn this control.

You cannot focus on negative or sad thoughts. This will only fuel the behavior you’re trying to avoid. More importantly, if you allow it to continue it can change your personality and shape your future in ways that you don’t wish it to be shaped.

By becoming aware of your internal dialogue and learning to correct it, you’re giving yourself a better chance to succeed. It’s something you will have to practice until it becomes your default setting. Think about it as new operating software, software so big you have to delete some things before you can install it. That’s what taking control of your internal dialogue is.

This isn’t to say you’re not allowed to experience typically negative emotions. Rather, it’s about learning how to process them healthily and looking to the positives in every situation, so it doesn’t influence your internal dialogue.

When you feel your dialogue turning negative, start thinking the opposite and exaggerate that by ten. Feel positive, influence your internal dialogue to be positive, and build your own world.

If you need additional support with coping skills during life’s challenges, I have a FREE workbook and planner to support you.

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Heather Nardi  |  Contribution: 260