4.5 Editor's Pick
May 7, 2020

F*ck Happiness. Feel it All Instead.

When asked what we want in life, we often come to the conclusion of this one word: “Happiness.”

We all just want to be happy. All the time. Every damn day. Forever.

It’s like any other foreign feeling of sadness, anger, jealously, loneliness—it isn’t welcome to sit at our table anymore.

When did we start getting the impression that being happy 24/7, 365 days a year is an acceptable and attainable goal?

Not only is avoiding these feelings impossible; it’s toxic to our minds and our bodies.

When we don’t take the time to feel emotions, we shove them down, lock them away within us, and convince ourselves they will go away, go back to where they belong—in the darkness of our soul, where no one else can ever witness their existence.

If depression or anger try to pry their way out of our vaults within, we immediately panic, compare ourselves to others in the land of Instagram selfies and perfect families, and feel like a complete and utter failure.

What’s next?

We go to the doctor, get our prescriptions, and decide to take matters into our own hands. Take the pills, mask the darkness, and make it all go away.

What happened to us?

Society has taught boys not to cry, girls not to be too emotional—because that’s not what boys want.

We are taught not to be too fat, but not too skinny either, because having curves is more desirable.

Social media has portrayed to us the most impossible picture of what life is “supposed to be.”

So what are we are supposed to feel?

I’m here to tell you: You are supposed to feel it all.

Our emotions are the only indicator of our past, present, and future.

We have shut down our internal navigation system so we can hop on the spiritual journey to 24/7, 365-days-a-year happiness—which, I’m sorry to tell you, doesn’t exist.

It never has.

It never will.

And anyone who says that it does…is full of it.

Let me share a quote by Glennon Doyle, whom I admire more than anything because she teaches us to do the exact opposite. To run toward the pain, feel it all, and embrace the fact we are all messy, beautiful, unique humans—with one common misunderstanding:

“If you are uncomfortable—in deep pain, angry, yearning, confused—you don’t have a problem, you have a life. Being human is not hard because you are doing it wrong, it’s hard because you are doing it right. You will never change the fact that being human is hard, so you must change your idea that is was ever supposed to be easy.” ~ Untamed, Glennon Doyle

Yes, that’s right.

You are not broken.

You are human—and feeling all the feels is exactly what you need in order to have this human experience.

Is it easy? Hell no. But again, whoever said this life was supposed to be easy? And perfect? An endless surge of happiness and only happiness?

We have become robots in this false reality who hate ourselves when we don’t appear to “have it all together.”

The path of unlearning these false constructs of society and truly getting to know ourselves is what life is all about.

We have become so obsessed with others, with celebrities, we become numb to be anything other than who we think we should be.

Experience the feelings and dig deep to see where they’re coming from. Our emotions are a guide map to our pasts and often directly related to our childhood wounds.

It’s territory many of us would rather not go back to—but it can’t be ignored. Plus, once you start discovering who you really are, what makes you tick, before the world told you who you were supposed to be, it’s magical.

The Pursuit of Happiness is what we are taught to do.

The Path of the Warrior is where we truly discover who we are.

If we start to tap into our internal wisdom, and begin using our feelings and emotions as our internal GPS system, we learn to be in awe of just how powerful we really are.

Explore, reconnect, and come home to yourself. Happiness is just the tip of the iceberg of what you will find within.

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Jennifer Bailey  |  Contribution: 2,520

author: Jenny Bailey

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Editor: Kelsey Michal