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July 16, 2020

Take Control of your Calm: How I’m Romancing Chaos in a Pandemic.

“Preparing for the unknown.”

Even thinking about this phrase hurts.

Regardless, it’s what has to happen, and I strive every day to remind myself that the unknown does not include constant anxiety and chaos.

It’s nearly impossible in these times to not lose ourselves amongst the news, breaking stories, and political memes that scream bias. It’s nearly impossible to not feel overwhelmed by the bombardment of things to worry about.

But what if this is a collective moment to learn to direct our energy inward? What if these days plagued with absurdity and anger are testing our greater will to not crumble into a thousand pieces of angst? 

As I tread through my days in quarantine, I’ve caught myself reflecting on specific moments when I feel triggered and uncomfortable.

The vulnerability that clouds my thoughts and humbles my time is in fact a greater source of strength that I have not given enough credit to. It’s been an opportunity to sit with all the raw human emotions and practice not allowing for the upside down of the world to infect my soul.

I have failed at times, but I find myself growing stronger.

It does feel impossible at times to quiet the constant noise of the outside world, but I know that in order to persevere with the good in my heart and survive with my soul intact, I must confront and enlist this ever-present truth:

Even if the world’s upside down, it doesn’t mean I am internally. 

Yes, this truth that reminds me that gratitude and grace exist regardless of the current climate. The truth that beauty and joy can simultaneously exist amongst the dark, cloudy events that threaten our existence. That the moment is now, and that taking for granted that our days are limited and decreasing will only result in a life lived in vain.  

My power cannot be taken from me unless I allow it. This is the only truth needed to preserve peace.

The truth is that preparing for the unknown has little to do with preparedness of outward things and everything to do with inward fortitude. We are only as strong as our inner being, and in a time when constant upheaval is the norm, it is imperative that we master the ability to remain strong and guided.

We must quiet the storms around us by acknowledging that internally, no one can control our calm but us. In order to connect and feel the Universe, we need to stop feeding our fears.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

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