A little over a year ago now I embarked on a journey that would forever change my life. This inward journey took place primarily on one specific seat cushion in Hong Kong, on which I meditated in silence 11 hours a day for a whole 10 day experience occured in silence – no gestures, no eye contact, nor any written communication.
It was an incredibly introspective time, to say the least, i decided to sit the retreat before moving back to Australia recommended by a friend, feeling uneasy about the journey home. During my time i learnt that seemingly each and every event, situation, and major to minor memory of my life played before my closed eyes. I, like nearly everyone else, have made decisions and taken actions of which I am less than proud. Whether academically, financially, or romantically (and virtually every other aspect of life), I have held onto certain memories with a sense of regret and remorse for many years.
All of these feelings in need of healing arisen from my subconscious mind left me utterly crushed during these subsequent months. I had not spoken to my mother in over a year, “when one experiences the true from within the madness of finding fault with others disappears” S.N GOEKNA
The meditation technique taught at the retreat was the Vipassana style mediation, in which one meditates on one’s sensations without judgement, without craving or aversion. From this state of nonattachment, one is able to transcend suffering. The mentality behind this claim is that Change is the one apparent truth that we all experience, and because of this, we often suffer due to clinging onto or resisting that which is inherently temporary.
There is, however, a tremendous amount of hope, inspiration, and divine value that I have been gifted by experiencing these challenges, ordeals, and internal sufferings. I needed to be broken down back to nothing to recreate myself into something. Someone stronger, someone wiser, someone with more compassion.