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August 3, 2020

The Trickster Sisters—Sacrifice & Compromise.

The word “sacrifice” has so much nobility and sacredness to it.

That’s actually the origin of the word—to make something sacred.

Some people are asked in their journey to make great unimaginable sacrifices, yet as everything carries a shadow in this three-dimensional existence, so does the truth of “sacrifice.”

It has been confused and used as an excuse by many people to bypass courage; it’s simply easier for the soul to avoid difficult action and call it sacrifice. Sacrifice is rare and sacred, so it doesn’t make sense that we’re all claiming to be doing it.

In my experience, as a child, I grew up being told by my mother that she had to sacrifice her life for us. I remember it being a recurring concept in a lot of the 80s and 90s Egyptian dramas, probably adding to its popularity in our homes and lives. I carried that with so much conviction, really believing that my mother sacrificed her life for us, and what a burden to a child that was.

Over the next 20 years after that, I carried the weight of her own happiness, as this was the least I could do for someone who has sacrificed for me. I became responsible for her happiness and by default felt an obligation to sacrifice mine, and here we go into a vicious, detrimental cycle of maternal generational pain and suffering.

Years later, I almost fell into the same maze trying to defend a lifeless marriage, with the need to sacrifice for my children ’til it reached a boiling point when it became obvious that my soul might wither in the process. I’ve made the jump out and fell hard—broke every bone as I remember and shattered my life. That’s how it felt then. Then I’ve slowly sewed myself back together with pain, tears, anxiety, fear, joy, love, and truth.

The point is that years later, it made me look at the concept of sacrifice that we’ve been fed as women, that I recognise holds so much truth to some and is their destiny, but to others it became a shield from their courage, an escape from making powerful, life-changing decisions.

It’s one of the most difficult shadows to discover, and it’s easy to fall into, as it looks so righteous from the outside. That’s why I’ve realised that when you find yourself sacrificing and falling into a victim vibration, you should authentically challenge yourself that you’re not just taking shield from something that is asking you to be courageous.

A relative to sacrifice is compromise, which seems to be a lower spectrum degree of sacrifice. So when you compromise, it’s like you make a 60 percent sacrifice, and when this 60 percent becomes 100 percent, that makes a compromise a sacrifice.

Be attentive to both: they’re elusive sisters that can be honourable when they’re true, but so deceitful when they’re not.

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