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September 21, 2020

A Letter to my 18-Year-Old Self about Self-Worth. 

I know this battle you are fighting at the moment is really tough.

After all, you are fighting against your own emotions. I know you feel like giving up on this battle, but I am right here, reminding you of the strength and power you possess.

Take a deep breath.
 
Trust me, you’ll be fine. You’ll get over this, and you are going to be extremely proud of yourself the day it happens.
 
Love, do you remember the time when you were terribly defeated despite the hard work and efforts you pulled off during your high school exams? That defeat made you cry hard each day, almost for a week. Your cheeks were exhausted, and the disappointment lasted longer than you thought.
 
That one incident made you weak at many instants throughout the year. But I don’t want you to remember the woes you were stuck in.

However, I do want you to remember your resilience and courage during those dark times. One could have easily given up at such moments, but you didn’t. 
 
I want my voice to get into your head. You didn’t give up. You didn’t lose your faith upon hard work and perseverance. You were there, standing taller than before and conquering your defeat.
 
Love, it is all okay even if you break at a certain point—everyone does. Fighting an emotional battle isn’t a cakewalk after all. I want you to keep striving ahead no matter how tough this battle gets.
 
I know you feel ashamed of yourself at times. You even feel like your self-esteem has dropped so low that you’ll never bounce back to the character you used to have. You feel your charisma is gradually diminishing and your self-confidence is descending, too.

But honey, these are your assumptions. You are strong—you really are.

I’m here to convince you to turn the pages of the past and bring back the moments when you believed you were brave. I need you to remember when you inspired other people, when others praised you for your daring nature, and when you challenged the calamities that you thought you could never win over.
 
Love, this battle is tough only because you are fighting against something—against someone you loved with all your heart. This love is what’s causing the entire process to be painful. 

I am right here to tell you that this pain isn’t going to last long. Once you win over this, your perspective on people, yourself, and life is going to change. In fact, it is going to upgrade.
 
So keep this faith alive within you.

Do not let these petty mood swings affect you or revert you to the point where you are not supposed to be.

When you feel low, mourn—mourn until your heart feels lighter. But, most importantly, do not give up. You are enough for yourself, and I don’t want you to base your power, confidence, and happiness on someone else.

Your worth, success, and pride don’t come from the person you love. You, my dear, are the ultimate source of all these.
 
That’s why I want you to carry on.

I want you to feel your emotions as much as you can while loving yourself as you always did.

You heard me. Feel everything until you discover the self you have lost along the way.

~

 

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